The worst part is how much he wants her to hold him. How he wants to reach out to her. But he can't bring himself to do it.
"I was..." he says helplessly, "I thought I was. But I... it still doesn't make it right. It's just..."
No. No, he doesn't deserve to make excuses for himself. It doesn't matter that Astarion gave him reasons to worry because of his inexperience (and what happened to Quentin). He was still wrong to lecture them like that.
"I'm sorry if I've made things awkward for you with Astarion now. Or Edgar. Fuck. I made everything a mess. I don't... I won't say anything anymore. You're smarter than I am anyway. I should have trusted you better."
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Date: 2020-12-05 06:55 pm (UTC)"I was..." he says helplessly, "I thought I was. But I... it still doesn't make it right. It's just..."
No. No, he doesn't deserve to make excuses for himself. It doesn't matter that Astarion gave him reasons to worry because of his inexperience (and what happened to Quentin). He was still wrong to lecture them like that.
"I'm sorry if I've made things awkward for you with Astarion now. Or Edgar. Fuck. I made everything a mess. I don't... I won't say anything anymore. You're smarter than I am anyway. I should have trusted you better."