[Ren doesn't meet Rowan's eye when they come in, thick in the 'I Know I've Done A Bad Thing You Don't Need To Tell Me' pre-emptive shame display that she usually used to avoid trouble. But the way that Rowan rests against her is reassuring and Ren leans against them. They don't seem mad. So. That's confusing. She should be getting told off.
She considered the question. What was the part of this that was causing her the most ache?]
I don't...[Her answer is slow as she thinks about how to phrase this.] I don't know how to have what I want and still be a good Fionn. I have to be a good Fionn. I have to be the best. Heroes, the proper ones, resist what they want 'cos it's what they have to do. I should be concentrating on gettin' back home not twisting myself in knots over some lass.
And everyone keeps sayin' that it don't matter what happens here, but my Aunt said the spirits know everythin' we do. The Fianna and the Fair Folk are friends of old, every Fionn gets taught that when we're trained. We made them or they made us or-- I don't know, I'm not a fucking Bard. But...how can we even trust that what happens here won't get home? Just 'cos we can't see them, don't mean the spirits ain't watching.
And then--
I don't even know if that's what's botherin' me, 'cos I don't like what I said to her. That was a shitey thing to say and I don't like that-- She's the only person who isn't afraid of me. Everyone's always afraid of me other than Garou. I just...I just want to not--
[Ren growls in frustration as she struggles to express herself.]
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Date: 2020-10-14 09:10 am (UTC)She considered the question. What was the part of this that was causing her the most ache?]
I don't...[Her answer is slow as she thinks about how to phrase this.] I don't know how to have what I want and still be a good Fionn. I have to be a good Fionn. I have to be the best. Heroes, the proper ones, resist what they want 'cos it's what they have to do. I should be concentrating on gettin' back home not twisting myself in knots over some lass.
And everyone keeps sayin' that it don't matter what happens here, but my Aunt said the spirits know everythin' we do. The Fianna and the Fair Folk are friends of old, every Fionn gets taught that when we're trained. We made them or they made us or-- I don't know, I'm not a fucking Bard. But...how can we even trust that what happens here won't get home? Just 'cos we can't see them, don't mean the spirits ain't watching.
And then--
I don't even know if that's what's botherin' me, 'cos I don't like what I said to her. That was a shitey thing to say and I don't like that-- She's the only person who isn't afraid of me. Everyone's always afraid of me other than Garou. I just...I just want to not--
[Ren growls in frustration as she struggles to express herself.]