"Oh," he answers quietly. He's not sure what else there is to say and for a moment, the silence lingers.
Maybe this is similar to how Max felt with Lilith. He still cares for the woman but... they just never could seem to get along. Maybe it's for the best to keep distance when the alternative just leads to heartache.
"If that's how you feel then...maybe it's better to go your separate ways. For a little while, at least."
"We don't all have to like everyone just because our friends do," Max says gently. "But, if you happen to find yourself at a gathering where she is also present, you can act civil and just avoid speaking to each other for too long, can't you?
"That's how I'm going about it with Lilith. She and I aren't on speaking terms right now but I don't begrudge if others are friendly with her."
"I'm more than happy to remind you, darling," Astarion assured him with another sympathetic shoulder pat. "But whatever decision you make is still yours. I'll try, very hard, not to sway you because of my own...experiences."
Hmm? ( From the sound of things, Zevran must have spaced out for a second or two. )
Nothing to worry yourself over. I was given a gift I had not anticipated, that is all. ( he clears his throat. ) Sorry to have bothered you, my friend.
( another pause as Zevran debates the merits of just hanging up and not answering that question. Really, he shouldn't have drawn attention to it at all, but it had been bothering him since he found the item on his nightstand. )
An earring. It is a memento from my very first job with the Crows. It is not - the gift itself is not the issue, but the timing of its arrival, as if the Fae are mocking me.
( Sorry for the vagueness, Max. He's feeling a feeling and he's not sure how to say it. )
I'm guessing the memories it's bringing back are painful ones? Is this an anniversary of some kind?
I have a theory about the fae, that it's not really the sex they want so much as the emotions it stirs up. I think they sometimes do things like this to get us stirred up in different ways, too.
( zevran laughs at that. ) No, no. I have rather fond memories of that night and the man whom the earring belonged to. A beautiful merchant prince - I would say it was a shame he had to part with it. But. Well. ( assassin business and all that.
He sighed after, frustration evident in his tone. ) Mm. I suppose that makes sense. There is certainly something unpleasant stirring in me currently. I just - I cannot quite explain it. A friend of mine from home arrived recently, and I had - no. Nevermind. I am babbling.
I should go.
( it probably made no sense to Max, the correlation between whatever emotion the earring had triggered and the Wardens arrival. But, honestly, it barely made sense to Zevran. And saying it out loud hadn't helped as much as he had hoped. )
Max rubs soothing circles over Edgar's back as he continues. "I think the best thing to do is stay away, especially from Astarion. Don't talk to him. If you happen to encounter him, if he says anything to you, do your best not to snap back. Just walk away. Okay?"
There's a soft clinking sound as Zevran sets the earring down, followed by the creak of what one could easily assume is his bed as he settles onto it. )
I spoke of the Grey Wardens, yes? ( He knew he did to a few people, but he couldn't recall, given how most comments were said in passing anyway. ) Solona, the one that I and a few others were traveling with...she is here. ( There's a fondness in his tone, and if Max is perceptive enough, just a touch of sadness. )
The bitterness is back again, and his throat feels thick with it. There isn't even any warming rage in it, not anymore.
Low-voiced: "So he says what he likes and I keep my head down, is that it? Thought I was done with that here." He wraps one hand around the other, squeezing until his bones ache.
(Or are you saying the same to him?, he wants to ask, except he doesn't want to risk hearing Max answer no.)
What will it take to keep these two from coming to blows again, metaphorically? God, he hopes only metaphorically. Max has already made up his mind to call Astarion in the morning about this, and to make some of the very same requests. He'd just like to be able to throw a party without worrying about the two of them glaring daggers at each other across the room.
"Edgar," Max says, not able to hide the frustration in his voice, "I'm asking you to ignore him. Don't engage with what he has to say. This time, here, you have the power to make that choice. Sometimes the only way to win is not to play the game."
He squeezes his hands together harder, tries hard to keep his voice steady.
"So if he shows up somewhere and sees me, and says push off, boy, go be somewhere else, how do you figure I win by shutting up and walking away? And don't say he won't do that, cause he has."
"I'm not telling you if he walks into a place, say, the common room and says something like that, that you have to just do what he says."
Take a breath, he tells himself. God willing, Astarion won't do anything like that... again?
"I'm saying, if he walks in and say something snide like that, you can firmly remind him you have every right to be there and then don't say anything else to him. Act like you can't even see him or hear him. Don't let him under your skin."
He can feel his shoulders trying to hunch as though against a blow. Ignoring a guard or a Front-sectioner like you can't see or hear him is one of the surest ways to bring down wrath, on yourself and on anyone else who sees it happen --
But this isn't the train. And Astarion isn't Front.
Edgar takes a deep breath and holds it, holds it.
"All right," he says finally, as steadily as he can manage, "all right. But maybe it'd be a good idea for someone to tell him to ignore me."
Max is holding his breath too, waiting. He finally lets it go when Edgar, at least, agrees to this much.
"I'll talk to him."
He shifts around to try and take Edgar's hands again and look him in the eyes. "It's getting late. Why don't we sleep on this for now? You can borrow a shirt from me, get warmed up and we can go snuggle. How does that sound?"
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-13 02:36 pm (UTC)He looks away again, swallowing down the ache in his throat, blinking back the stinging in his eyes.
"Think I might be done with her too."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-13 02:47 pm (UTC)Maybe this is similar to how Max felt with Lilith. He still cares for the woman but... they just never could seem to get along. Maybe it's for the best to keep distance when the alternative just leads to heartache.
"If that's how you feel then...maybe it's better to go your separate ways. For a little while, at least."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-13 04:39 pm (UTC)"Dunno how I'm gonna stay clear for good when all my friends love her. Everybody loves her."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-13 05:24 pm (UTC)"That's how I'm going about it with Lilith. She and I aren't on speaking terms right now but I don't begrudge if others are friendly with her."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-13 08:30 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-13 10:23 pm (UTC)He rubs at his eyes again, struggles to keep his voice from wobbling. "Hate this."
voice,
Date: 2021-09-14 01:37 am (UTC)Re: voice,
Date: 2021-09-14 02:05 am (UTC)Why? Did something happen?
Re: voice,
Date: 2021-09-14 02:08 am (UTC)Nothing to worry yourself over. I was given a gift I had not anticipated, that is all. ( he clears his throat. ) Sorry to have bothered you, my friend.
Re: voice,
Date: 2021-09-14 01:41 pm (UTC)What did they give you?
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-14 02:26 pm (UTC)An earring. It is a memento from my very first job with the Crows. It is not - the gift itself is not the issue, but the timing of its arrival, as if the Fae are mocking me.
( Sorry for the vagueness, Max. He's feeling a feeling and he's not sure how to say it. )
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-14 03:25 pm (UTC)I have a theory about the fae, that it's not really the sex they want so much as the emotions it stirs up. I think they sometimes do things like this to get us stirred up in different ways, too.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-14 03:52 pm (UTC)He sighed after, frustration evident in his tone. ) Mm. I suppose that makes sense. There is certainly something unpleasant stirring in me currently. I just - I cannot quite explain it. A friend of mine from home arrived recently, and I had - no. Nevermind. I am babbling.
I should go.
( it probably made no sense to Max, the correlation between whatever emotion the earring had triggered and the Wardens arrival. But, honestly, it barely made sense to Zevran. And saying it out loud hadn't helped as much as he had hoped. )
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-14 06:01 pm (UTC)He heaved one last heavy sigh and shook the tension from his shoulders.
"Whatever comes, it's good to know we've got each other's back."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-14 06:10 pm (UTC)Max rubs soothing circles over Edgar's back as he continues. "I think the best thing to do is stay away, especially from Astarion. Don't talk to him. If you happen to encounter him, if he says anything to you, do your best not to snap back. Just walk away. Okay?"
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-14 06:38 pm (UTC)Besides, Max is far more distracted trying to parse the rest of what Zevran has said.]
Wait. No! You don't have to go. Who was it that just showed up?
[A friend of Zevran's is here? Max would like to know more.]
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-14 06:43 pm (UTC)There's a soft clinking sound as Zevran sets the earring down, followed by the creak of what one could easily assume is his bed as he settles onto it. )
I spoke of the Grey Wardens, yes? ( He knew he did to a few people, but he couldn't recall, given how most comments were said in passing anyway. ) Solona, the one that I and a few others were traveling with...she is here. ( There's a fondness in his tone, and if Max is perceptive enough, just a touch of sadness. )
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-14 07:37 pm (UTC)Low-voiced: "So he says what he likes and I keep my head down, is that it? Thought I was done with that here." He wraps one hand around the other, squeezing until his bones ache.
(Or are you saying the same to him?, he wants to ask, except he doesn't want to risk hearing Max answer no.)
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-14 07:51 pm (UTC)"Edgar," Max says, not able to hide the frustration in his voice, "I'm asking you to ignore him. Don't engage with what he has to say. This time, here, you have the power to make that choice. Sometimes the only way to win is not to play the game."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-14 08:16 pm (UTC)"So if he shows up somewhere and sees me, and says push off, boy, go be somewhere else, how do you figure I win by shutting up and walking away? And don't say he won't do that, cause he has."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-14 08:25 pm (UTC)Take a breath, he tells himself. God willing, Astarion won't do anything like that... again?
"I'm saying, if he walks in and say something snide like that, you can firmly remind him you have every right to be there and then don't say anything else to him. Act like you can't even see him or hear him. Don't let him under your skin."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-14 08:45 pm (UTC)But this isn't the train. And Astarion isn't Front.
Edgar takes a deep breath and holds it, holds it.
"All right," he says finally, as steadily as he can manage, "all right. But maybe it'd be a good idea for someone to tell him to ignore me."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-14 09:04 pm (UTC)"I'll talk to him."
He shifts around to try and take Edgar's hands again and look him in the eyes. "It's getting late. Why don't we sleep on this for now? You can borrow a shirt from me, get warmed up and we can go snuggle. How does that sound?"
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-14 09:35 pm (UTC)[Max does pick up on that tone of sadness. His curiosity grows.]
Solona, huh. Are the two of you close?
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-14 09:56 pm (UTC)Yes, you could say we are close, I suppose.
( A beat. ) The thing is - and I am uncertain if I should speak on her behalf - she is dead. I had not expected to see her again.