"Oh," he answers quietly. He's not sure what else there is to say and for a moment, the silence lingers.
Maybe this is similar to how Max felt with Lilith. He still cares for the woman but... they just never could seem to get along. Maybe it's for the best to keep distance when the alternative just leads to heartache.
"If that's how you feel then...maybe it's better to go your separate ways. For a little while, at least."
"We don't all have to like everyone just because our friends do," Max says gently. "But, if you happen to find yourself at a gathering where she is also present, you can act civil and just avoid speaking to each other for too long, can't you?
"That's how I'm going about it with Lilith. She and I aren't on speaking terms right now but I don't begrudge if others are friendly with her."
Max rubs soothing circles over Edgar's back as he continues. "I think the best thing to do is stay away, especially from Astarion. Don't talk to him. If you happen to encounter him, if he says anything to you, do your best not to snap back. Just walk away. Okay?"
The bitterness is back again, and his throat feels thick with it. There isn't even any warming rage in it, not anymore.
Low-voiced: "So he says what he likes and I keep my head down, is that it? Thought I was done with that here." He wraps one hand around the other, squeezing until his bones ache.
(Or are you saying the same to him?, he wants to ask, except he doesn't want to risk hearing Max answer no.)
What will it take to keep these two from coming to blows again, metaphorically? God, he hopes only metaphorically. Max has already made up his mind to call Astarion in the morning about this, and to make some of the very same requests. He'd just like to be able to throw a party without worrying about the two of them glaring daggers at each other across the room.
"Edgar," Max says, not able to hide the frustration in his voice, "I'm asking you to ignore him. Don't engage with what he has to say. This time, here, you have the power to make that choice. Sometimes the only way to win is not to play the game."
He squeezes his hands together harder, tries hard to keep his voice steady.
"So if he shows up somewhere and sees me, and says push off, boy, go be somewhere else, how do you figure I win by shutting up and walking away? And don't say he won't do that, cause he has."
"I'm not telling you if he walks into a place, say, the common room and says something like that, that you have to just do what he says."
Take a breath, he tells himself. God willing, Astarion won't do anything like that... again?
"I'm saying, if he walks in and say something snide like that, you can firmly remind him you have every right to be there and then don't say anything else to him. Act like you can't even see him or hear him. Don't let him under your skin."
He can feel his shoulders trying to hunch as though against a blow. Ignoring a guard or a Front-sectioner like you can't see or hear him is one of the surest ways to bring down wrath, on yourself and on anyone else who sees it happen --
But this isn't the train. And Astarion isn't Front.
Edgar takes a deep breath and holds it, holds it.
"All right," he says finally, as steadily as he can manage, "all right. But maybe it'd be a good idea for someone to tell him to ignore me."
Max is holding his breath too, waiting. He finally lets it go when Edgar, at least, agrees to this much.
"I'll talk to him."
He shifts around to try and take Edgar's hands again and look him in the eyes. "It's getting late. Why don't we sleep on this for now? You can borrow a shirt from me, get warmed up and we can go snuggle. How does that sound?"
All the rest of that held breath goes out of him in a sigh, and he nods. "Sounds good."
It sounds like a little piece of heaven, actually. It sounds too good to risk losing by trying to push this any further ... and he's starting to feel too tired and heartsore to do that anyway.
Max will stand, keeping Edgar's hands in his, and gently lead him that way. Time to rest for a while. Hopefully, things won't feel quite so dire in the morning. Even if they do, it's better to let it settle and approach it again with a clearer head.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-13 02:36 pm (UTC)He looks away again, swallowing down the ache in his throat, blinking back the stinging in his eyes.
"Think I might be done with her too."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-13 02:47 pm (UTC)Maybe this is similar to how Max felt with Lilith. He still cares for the woman but... they just never could seem to get along. Maybe it's for the best to keep distance when the alternative just leads to heartache.
"If that's how you feel then...maybe it's better to go your separate ways. For a little while, at least."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-13 04:39 pm (UTC)"Dunno how I'm gonna stay clear for good when all my friends love her. Everybody loves her."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-13 05:24 pm (UTC)"That's how I'm going about it with Lilith. She and I aren't on speaking terms right now but I don't begrudge if others are friendly with her."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-13 10:23 pm (UTC)He rubs at his eyes again, struggles to keep his voice from wobbling. "Hate this."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-14 06:10 pm (UTC)Max rubs soothing circles over Edgar's back as he continues. "I think the best thing to do is stay away, especially from Astarion. Don't talk to him. If you happen to encounter him, if he says anything to you, do your best not to snap back. Just walk away. Okay?"
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-14 07:37 pm (UTC)Low-voiced: "So he says what he likes and I keep my head down, is that it? Thought I was done with that here." He wraps one hand around the other, squeezing until his bones ache.
(Or are you saying the same to him?, he wants to ask, except he doesn't want to risk hearing Max answer no.)
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-14 07:51 pm (UTC)"Edgar," Max says, not able to hide the frustration in his voice, "I'm asking you to ignore him. Don't engage with what he has to say. This time, here, you have the power to make that choice. Sometimes the only way to win is not to play the game."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-14 08:16 pm (UTC)"So if he shows up somewhere and sees me, and says push off, boy, go be somewhere else, how do you figure I win by shutting up and walking away? And don't say he won't do that, cause he has."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-14 08:25 pm (UTC)Take a breath, he tells himself. God willing, Astarion won't do anything like that... again?
"I'm saying, if he walks in and say something snide like that, you can firmly remind him you have every right to be there and then don't say anything else to him. Act like you can't even see him or hear him. Don't let him under your skin."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-14 08:45 pm (UTC)But this isn't the train. And Astarion isn't Front.
Edgar takes a deep breath and holds it, holds it.
"All right," he says finally, as steadily as he can manage, "all right. But maybe it'd be a good idea for someone to tell him to ignore me."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-14 09:04 pm (UTC)"I'll talk to him."
He shifts around to try and take Edgar's hands again and look him in the eyes. "It's getting late. Why don't we sleep on this for now? You can borrow a shirt from me, get warmed up and we can go snuggle. How does that sound?"
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-14 11:49 pm (UTC)It sounds like a little piece of heaven, actually. It sounds too good to risk losing by trying to push this any further ... and he's starting to feel too tired and heartsore to do that anyway.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-15 12:42 am (UTC)Max will stand, keeping Edgar's hands in his, and gently lead him that way. Time to rest for a while. Hopefully, things won't feel quite so dire in the morning. Even if they do, it's better to let it settle and approach it again with a clearer head.