Nott winces a little, but nods. "'S the big question, yeah."
Fuuuuck she wants a drink.
"I don't really know where I am with anyone, I guess. Yeza -- he was doing work for this group back home, they're kind of related to the government -- I'm getting ahead of myself." She rubs a hand over her face. "He thought I was dead. And I thought, I mean, I wasn't sure I'd ever see him again. Or at least I didn't know when I would. So that made fucking around here a little easier." Not that it was ever easy for her, obviously, as Max is well aware.
"Anyway, so, he was doing this work, and, he got captured by the country we're at war with, but we got him out, and -- and he was okay with all this," and all of a sudden her voice is straining past a lump in her throat. Fuck, she didn't come in here meaning to cry, it's just-- "I was so fucking scared and he was okay--"
Max is getting a little choked up just listening to her. He pulls her in for a big bear hug, encouraging the tears with soft murmurs of, "It's okay. You can let it out." Sometimes the tears are necessary.
He'll try to rub her back while he holds her, too. All the while, his heart it swelling with happiness. He knows just what she means. He knows that fear of rejection too well. But Yeza loves her, he clearly does, and by the sounds of it, he would have her back no matter what. Which... meant Max didn't know if he had the right to love her that way anymore. But he couldn't bring himself to be sad about it right now.
And despite planning on keeping it together for this, Nott takes him up on the offer, and just -- curls up against him and cries. Not forever, not even for very long, but for a few minutes of hard sobbing that she hasn't let out with anyone yet.
At one point she hiccups out a "Sorry -- you di-idn't sign up for this" before burying her face in his chest* again. After another minute or two she manages to calm it down to hitching breaths and sniffling.
Max doesn't say a word while she cries, just holds her and rubs soothing circles on her back. His steady posture seems to say he could sit here all day just like this, but she calms after a while.
There's a light laugh from him, more a breath she'll feel in his chest, before he says, "This is exactly what I signed up for."
He waits a little for her to quiet before he elaborates on that, his voice calm but firm. "Nott, this is exactly what being a friend means to me. It means being there for the hard times too. So, yes, holding you like this is exactly what I signed up for. And you've already done the same for me."
He just so happens to have a handkerchief in his breast pocket, so he slips it out and offers it to her. "Here. Did you need this?"
"Th'nks." She takes the handkerchief and dabs at her eyes, blows her nose. "Uh, I will ... launder this."
When she looks up at him, her eyes are still a little watery. "You're a really nice man, Max. And you're a good friend. And I wish I had a good answer for you about what this" -- she gestures vaguely between them -- "is gonna be, I really really do."
"I'm sure the fae can handle that," he says with a breathy chuckle.
"It's okay to not have an answer right now. I don't have one either. We can figure that out later. Might be easier after we've both had a minute to digest it."
He'd miss the flirting, and the more than flirting, he'll admit. But no way is he going to end their friendship over something as petty as that.
"I'd really love to hear more about your family. If you feel like you can talk about it?"
"Yeah, uh -- I mean, I might cry some more, but." She waves the handkerchief; she'll be fine. "Luc's about four. He's gotten pretty big! We're not with him, right now, we have a friend taking him to stay with Jester's mom while we figure out all this war stuff."
Which she's DEFINITELY NOT STRESSED ABOUT, it's fine, she does trust Shakäste.
"And Yeza, well, he's an alchemist. He's very very smart, always has been. Luc takes after him like that. We had an apothecary in town. And -- he's really a lover, not a fighter, but he's been very brave."
"Must be hard to be separated," he says, sympathetically. "But you're doing the right thing to keep him safe."
Max can't imagine having to worry about raising a kid in the midst of war like that. He's grateful that won't ever be a worry for him... even if that's ultimately because he'll never have the chance to raise kids at all.
"I bet you and Yeza make a good team. You dabble in some alchemy too, don't you?"
"I mean -- I'm trying." She sighs, a little shakily. "It's hard when you can't see them. At least now I can -- could see Yeza.
"I picked up alchemy from him, yeah, I assisted him at the apothecary sometimes. He's brilliant, honestly. We were working on some pretty cool stuff before I ended up back here." Another sigh, this one more rueful and less like she's going to cry again. "I guess the good part is he isn't missing me. He spent all that time thinking I was dead. He doesn't have to do that. He won't even know I'm gone."
Max's heart breaks for her all over again. She finally got back to Yeza and now she's been yanked away again. As much as he selfishly doesn't want to see her go, because that would mean losing such a good friend, he hates that she must now endure yet another separation on top of so many. Max doesn't know if there's much he could say to ease that brand of suffering. So, maybe a distraction would be better.
"Would it be too hard to show me a little of what you were working on?"
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(no subject)
Date: 2021-08-10 08:56 pm (UTC)He'll try to rub her back while he holds her, too. All the while, his heart it swelling with happiness. He knows just what she means. He knows that fear of rejection too well. But Yeza loves her, he clearly does, and by the sounds of it, he would have her back no matter what. Which... meant Max didn't know if he had the right to love her that way anymore. But he couldn't bring himself to be sad about it right now.
"You got him back. Nott, I'm so happy for you."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-08-17 02:34 pm (UTC)There's a light laugh from him, more a breath she'll feel in his chest, before he says, "This is exactly what I signed up for."
He waits a little for her to quiet before he elaborates on that, his voice calm but firm. "Nott, this is exactly what being a friend means to me. It means being there for the hard times too. So, yes, holding you like this is exactly what I signed up for. And you've already done the same for me."
He just so happens to have a handkerchief in his breast pocket, so he slips it out and offers it to her. "Here. Did you need this?"
(no subject)
Date: 2021-08-18 06:45 pm (UTC)"It's okay to not have an answer right now. I don't have one either. We can figure that out later. Might be easier after we've both had a minute to digest it."
He'd miss the flirting, and the more than flirting, he'll admit. But no way is he going to end their friendship over something as petty as that.
"I'd really love to hear more about your family. If you feel like you can talk about it?"
(no subject)
Date: 2021-08-23 02:09 pm (UTC)Max can't imagine having to worry about raising a kid in the midst of war like that. He's grateful that won't ever be a worry for him... even if that's ultimately because he'll never have the chance to raise kids at all.
"I bet you and Yeza make a good team. You dabble in some alchemy too, don't you?"
(no subject)
Date: 2021-08-30 08:05 pm (UTC)"Would it be too hard to show me a little of what you were working on?"
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-06 08:37 pm (UTC)"You know, as long as I don't accidentally blow myself up. Rowan and Lucas would be mad if I did that."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-09 09:29 pm (UTC)"Do you know how to make fireworks?"
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-11 10:18 pm (UTC)End?
Date: 2021-09-13 12:49 am (UTC)They'll figure this out. All they need is a little time.