[And this is where Ren struggles because at her heart she fears this is some stupid infatuation - the type that the Fianna are known for falling into with the first pretty face that crosses them. But deeper, the thought that it might not be scares her more.]
Nobody ever asked me to stay before. [While Lexa might not have known it, that gesture had been confusing to Ren on so many levels.] It's...everything's always 'cos it's the right thing to do and it's the way things have always been done. But even when I was sneakin' about before me change...nobody asked me to stay then either. I'm not...people don't...who wants a shag with a bad temper to stick about?
She's special. Not 'cos she's a fuckin' warleader or 'cos she can probably kick my arse. She actually wanted us to stay. She wanted my attention. She doesn't treat me like I'm stupid. She keeps saying I can do better and I want to. And it was nice and new and now I've fucked it all up 'cos I didn't believe that anyone ever wants us to stay around.
A full moon is a delight to be viewed from a distance. [Ren was referencing her auspice.]
[Max closes his hand on Rowan's just for a second, his smile turning fond. It fills his heart up to hear Rowan speak of love and know that he's part of that.]
Ren, what you just said, you need to say to her. That's what she needs to hear from you. But, only if you really mean it this time, that you will stay. You have to stop acting like it's wrong. Because it's not. And it's hurtful to her to act otherwise.
[And now it's his turn to reach for Rowan.]
Trust her when she says she wants you for you. And when she shows her vulnerable side to you, cherish it for what it is. Cherish her.
[Rowan nods firmly, squeezing Max's hand back, but then bringing their hands to the ground so just their fingertips are touching. Maintaining contact, but hopefully in a way that won't be too distracting for Ren.]
You really do. And, Ren. Whether it works or not with Lexa, you need to remember this going forward. For next time it happens. Because you will find someone who believes in you and wants you to stay. It might not be Lexa, it might be someone else. But there are people out there for you, Lexa's just the first. Your Da found someone, right?
Your Da's special 'cos he's your Da. But that don't mean that you ain't neither. Ain't you his daughter? [Okay, normally they'd say that Ren doesn't need the self-esteem boost, but just this once, they'll give it to her. Because in this aspect she does need it, and if it meets giving the rest a boost too... they'll take it.]
Yeah, she's reached the peak of her emotional capability levels right now. And Max might get a shock as Ren shifts and a bare blink later there's a huge wolf sat in her place instead. A wolf with the same brown eyes that Ren has and a pure black glossy coat of fur, bar one band of grey on the left foreleg where she has her tattoo on her arm. One minute homid, the next lupus.
And she clambers and flumps onto Rowan with a renewed grumbling whine.] Fine.
[Max sits bolt-upright with a small yelp. His eyes blink in rapid surprise because... that sure is a wolf sitting next to him now. Yeah, he's still getting used to that.]
So. [He makes a popping sound with his lips.] Guess that means we're done talking then...
[Still with some small amount of trepidation, he reaches a hand out to cautiously stroke Ren's fir. It's black and glossy and... it suits here really.]
[Rowan doesn't seem at all perturbed by the sudden change. They chuckle as she shifts to flop over them, completely used to this, even if she's a different size and colour to most of their pack. They don't shift for Max's sake, though, and because it means they can reach out to scratch behind her ears for her.]
I reckon so. Too much for one day? [They direct the question at Ren, watching her as they stroke her fur, much less cautiously than Max is.]
[Hey, Ren was told that Max knew. The sooner he gets used to this Garou nonsense, the better, really. Especially around the ones who enjoy being in lupus.
And she lifts her head, leaning hard into scratches and letting her ears flick down. Yes, good. More scratches. She isn't a dog. But there's no pretending that it doesn't feel good in a way that just doesn't translate in a homid body.
But she does give a definitive nod. Yes. Too much for one day. Pats now.]
[Since Rowan is doing it, and Ren seems pretty content with the scratching, Max's hand becomes a little more confident. He takes up scratching behind Ren's other ear.
He looks to Rowan.]
So, did you want to, I don't know, join her? I mean, seems like a pack bonding thing, right? I can go...
Yeah, but if I change too, and you bugger off, who's going to do the stroking? [Rowan chuckles, glancing at Max and hoping he comes closer so they can lean on him.]
[And, to prove a point that human hands are very necessary, right now, Ren will turn her head to trap Max's hand under her chin. Her paw comes up to keep the arm in place.
But she does address Rowan;] I don't know how I keep forgetting people don't understand us in Lupus. [It just felt too natural to chitter and grumble in Garou.]
[Rowan leans into Max easily, resting against his side and shifting to tuck their legs up too, quite happy to be trapped in a partial pack cuddle pile.]
Well, I dunno about you, but I don't often hang out in lupus around people what ain't Garou. [Rowan replies to Ren automatically, stroking along her back lazily.]
She says it's weird you can't understand her. [They add, a belated translation for Max.] It is nice, though. Pack cuddles are nice. 'Specially when stuff's been intense.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-15 04:04 pm (UTC)[And this is where Ren struggles because at her heart she fears this is some stupid infatuation - the type that the Fianna are known for falling into with the first pretty face that crosses them. But deeper, the thought that it might not be scares her more.]
Nobody ever asked me to stay before. [While Lexa might not have known it, that gesture had been confusing to Ren on so many levels.] It's...everything's always 'cos it's the right thing to do and it's the way things have always been done. But even when I was sneakin' about before me change...nobody asked me to stay then either. I'm not...people don't...who wants a shag with a bad temper to stick about?
She's special. Not 'cos she's a fuckin' warleader or 'cos she can probably kick my arse. She actually wanted us to stay. She wanted my attention. She doesn't treat me like I'm stupid. She keeps saying I can do better and I want to. And it was nice and new and now I've fucked it all up 'cos I didn't believe that anyone ever wants us to stay around.
A full moon is a delight to be viewed from a distance. [Ren was referencing her auspice.]
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-17 05:14 am (UTC)Ren, what you just said, you need to say to her. That's what she needs to hear from you. But, only if you really mean it this time, that you will stay. You have to stop acting like it's wrong. Because it's not. And it's hurtful to her to act otherwise.
[And now it's his turn to reach for Rowan.]
Trust her when she says she wants you for you. And when she shows her vulnerable side to you, cherish it for what it is. Cherish her.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-19 06:56 pm (UTC)You really do. And, Ren. Whether it works or not with Lexa, you need to remember this going forward. For next time it happens. Because you will find someone who believes in you and wants you to stay. It might not be Lexa, it might be someone else. But there are people out there for you, Lexa's just the first. Your Da found someone, right?
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-19 07:37 pm (UTC)Aye, but...Da is different. He ain't like normal Ahrouns. He's special. [And how's she supposed to live up to that?]
...I didn't want to hurt anyone. I thought I was doing the right thing.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-19 08:05 pm (UTC)I do think the right thing right now is to be honest with Lexa and yourself about what you want.
And, Like Rowan says, keep in mind that if it doesn't work out this time, then there will be a next time. Always.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-19 08:15 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-20 09:33 am (UTC)Yeah, she's reached the peak of her emotional capability levels right now. And Max might get a shock as Ren shifts and a bare blink later there's a huge wolf sat in her place instead. A wolf with the same brown eyes that Ren has and a pure black glossy coat of fur, bar one band of grey on the left foreleg where she has her tattoo on her arm. One minute homid, the next lupus.
And she clambers and flumps onto Rowan with a renewed grumbling whine.] Fine.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-20 01:15 pm (UTC)So. [He makes a popping sound with his lips.] Guess that means we're done talking then...
[Still with some small amount of trepidation, he reaches a hand out to cautiously stroke Ren's fir. It's black and glossy and... it suits here really.]
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-20 01:30 pm (UTC)I reckon so. Too much for one day? [They direct the question at Ren, watching her as they stroke her fur, much less cautiously than Max is.]
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-20 01:43 pm (UTC)And she lifts her head, leaning hard into scratches and letting her ears flick down. Yes, good. More scratches. She isn't a dog. But there's no pretending that it doesn't feel good in a way that just doesn't translate in a homid body.
But she does give a definitive nod. Yes. Too much for one day. Pats now.]
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-20 02:17 pm (UTC)He looks to Rowan.]
So, did you want to, I don't know, join her? I mean, seems like a pack bonding thing, right? I can go...
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-20 02:43 pm (UTC)Anyway, you're part of this now.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-22 05:46 am (UTC)[He scoots in now until their shoulders touch. And he keeps petting Ren.]
I am, aren't I? Still getting used to the idea of all of this... but I like it. I'm glad.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-24 02:07 pm (UTC)But she does address Rowan;] I don't know how I keep forgetting people don't understand us in Lupus. [It just felt too natural to chitter and grumble in Garou.]
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-24 02:21 pm (UTC)Well, I dunno about you, but I don't often hang out in lupus around people what ain't Garou. [Rowan replies to Ren automatically, stroking along her back lazily.]
She says it's weird you can't understand her. [They add, a belated translation for Max.] It is nice, though. Pack cuddles are nice. 'Specially when stuff's been intense.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-26 03:39 am (UTC)It's kinda weird that you can understand her, Rowan, when I can't and I'm right here... I wonder if I could use some favor to change that.
[He leans in a little harder.]
You know what? This is nice, actually. I wouldn't mind doing this after a stressful day.