"Before you even took Claunthe's offer I had told her I would pay so you wouldn't have to. I did it because I love you and I couldn't bear to have you be in debt to a demon. I didn't abuse you, or train you, or belittle you to elevate myself. I have never harmed you like he has and I have done my best to give you every single freedom he denied you and more."
And yet, here he is, acting like he would have done something differently.
"I don't like him and I don't forgive him, and you're going to have to live with that, but let me ask you this: If our positions were reversed, would you be able to forgive?"
Max reaches out to her, to take her hands. "I know you love me. I feel safe with you because I know you'd never ever do those things to me. But I wish you would have asked me first; I would have told you I didn't want you to do that for me. I love you so much and it kills me to feel like I'm a burden." Will there ever be a time when he doesn't feel like he's forcing everyone around him to protect him? Will he have to get better at killing before that happens?
All other thoughts screech to a halt when she turns the scenario around and asks him like that. He stops and really thinks. If someone did those things to her, he would be furious! He'd probably be capable of killing them, too.
"If you said you forgave them and wanted to try to reconcile with them, I'd... be really scared for you. I'd be so scared of you getting hurt again and I'd... do anything to make sure that didn't happen." Which is what she's been doing all along. "I'd... try to. I don't know if could."
His hands squeeze hers tighter. "You don't have to forgive him. I can live with that. Can you live with knowing I do?"
"Well. I'm an open book. Ask me any questions you'd like. Just be prepared for a 'fuck if I know' sometimes." Honestly, sometimes the hardest part of not really knowing who he is comes from not knowing how to construct a 'who' to be. Questions help.
Much as she wants to cut in, to argue with him, she allows him to finish, and tries to listen to what he feels as much as what he says. In the end, it feels like he understands, and no matter how much she wants to hold onto her anger, she can't. She doesn't pull away from his touch this time, simply rests in it.
"Love is a burden Max. It's supposed to be. People who love each other have to weigh their decisions and balance their own wants and needs with the wants and needs of their significant other. It's not always rainbows and unicorns, sometimes it's dirty and painful and hard. Sometimes we won't agree with each other."
She sighs, mostly deflated now.
"I have been living with it, if it weren't for Claunthe I never would have touched him without provocation. It just...it was easy to choose him. I knew he wouldn't retaliate for fear of harming you and I didn't want paying this debt to fall back on us in such a way. It still almost did."
"If you don't know, you don't know. That's not your fault."
Max taps a finger against his lips while he thinks of a good question to start with. Something Angel will be able to answer. Okay, well, there's an easy one to start off with (he hopes.)
"What's been your favorite part of living on the island?"
He wants to balk at the idea of love being a burden. He doesn't want to think of their love as one, even in moments like this. But he can't argue against the logic she brings to it.
"I know it won't always be pretty. I do know that. I just... don't want you to feel like you have to hide things from me." Whether to protect him, to spare him, it doesn't matter. They're supposed to be in this together, right?
Max lets a slow breath out through his nose. Erik kept it secret too. Even if he didn't agree ahead of time, they both seemed to think it was the best solution. It... probably was. So, why does it still make his chest ache so much?
"I believe you. I know you and Ylva are both keeping the peace with him for my sake and I... haven't thanked you for that, have I?"
"It's in my nature, Max. I can't help but try to hide, just as you can't undo everything you learned in a short period of time, I can't undo the habits of over a hundred years so easily. I am trying."
"He's very encouraging, too. I've been thinking about showing him other projects that I'm working on in case he needs a job still and doesn't necessarily want to work with you and Miss Magne." He chatters happily as he unscrews a part of the mixer to lift the head off in his hands and carefully lay it aside. Tucking the tool between two fingers and pulling a charcoal pencil out of the satchel at his side, he makes more visible marks as he continues, "I had debated on potentially showing him around the outskirts, perhaps down into the ruins to see Paradesium. He's quite heat-sensitive though so he would need lighter clothes and a lot of water. I did have an idea, but I've no idea how to go about setting it up myself and any magic users here seem quite busy. Would you happen to know someone that could enchant a bit of clothing or jewelry?"
"Being a freak among freaks, openly. I don't have to hide anything about me, don't have to live on the edge of society. I can be myself openly. I can be a part of a community. Have friends, have neighbors, have love. It's all new for me. Brand-fucking-new."
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to push you. There's just so much I want to know. I'll be patient." Something in his chest eases. It was silly, he knows, but a scared little part of him really needed to hear that this was a habit she had before him, not because of him.
A slightly damp but cheeky smile blooms on his lips. "You get both anyway."
"Oh, that sounds like a really fun idea. Paradesium is such a romantic setting and the fruit that grows there is delicious." Because, of course, that's what he thinks of first.
"Hmm. I think River might be able to, and I know Mairi made some rings with enchantments too. Erik has one that sings a bird call. I bet you're looking for something that keeps him cool, right? I can't do clothes but I could make some shaved ice for you to take along. Or some ice cream. If I make it, it won't melt."
"It sucks that you had to do that before, but I'm so happy for you. No one should have to hide what they are or who they are to be accepted. I hope you only get to have more of everything as we go on. You've got one more friend today, now, after all."
"Oh yes, there are so many interesting plant species there that I've tested and sampled the fruits from. Only one of them that I tried to eat had a negative effect, and even then it was mostly relegated to swelling in the mouth and tongue. I imagine it would have been worse...if..." Oops, there's his brain catching up with the 'romantic' comment. He's a bit pink across the face and around the ears, even as he clears his throat and continues on, "anyway, if someone hands you a fruit with a thick green rind and says they're pretty certain that it's a sort of jackfruit, don't eat it. It'll taste okay, right up until it makes you unable to taste anything at all for about six hours."
Bart pauses to fiddle a moment, hooking a pair of insulated wires to one of the batteries that he and Tarantulas had previously been collaborating on, thumbing the button of a device meant to be a rudimentary soldering iron when the ends are secured. "Yes. Actually, even without the goal of going into Paradesium, I want to offer it as an option for him. His powers are incompatible with his body; it's why he's got such egregious scarring. I'm going to be attempting to treat him with extensive skin grafting over a long span of time, and that all by itself is going to be a difficult road all on its own, but adding to that that it could all be for naught if he overheats and hurts himself again...I could never in good conscience suggest another round of grafting. Especially when we don't actually have the appropriate donors lined up just yet and I am already unwilling to repeatedly strip layers of skin from the few uninjured places that he still has."
He sees that blush and he starts grinning so hard. Ah ha! He was right! They do have a crush. How cute! "Oh my, I'll remember that warning. Wonder if I could use that as an ingredient in something to make the effects milder." Not being able to taste could have some practical applications, he's sure. It might let him experience how the world is for people like Erik...
Speaking of. "Wow, that condition sounds so painful. I'll do anything I can to help. I might know someone else who could do more. Do you know Erik Osborne? He's a vampire I used to live with. His blood can heal wounds, even old ones like scars. All you have to do is apply it to the wound topically, so it shouldn't even hurt. I don't know for sure it would work but it might be worth asking. If I ask, I think he'd agree." He's agreed to worse for Max, after all.
It's a lovely afternoon in August with the plague situation safely behind the town when Mairi knocks at Max's door. She's got a bundle in her arms--- a small but heavy canvas sack. Catching herself bouncing on her toes a bit, she feels childish for being so excited, but she's always really loved giving gifts.
"I'm surprised you didn't guess!" She grins back, presenting the bag. "I made friends with the miller during the plague, and wouldn't you guess it, by the time I got back to my farm, the almonds had finished coming in."
His eyes go wide with shocked delight. "Almond flour!" He reaches forward, past the bag she's offering him, to pull her into a hug. "Thank you! This is... I don't know how to thank you enough!"
Mairi laughs and holds it aside to hug him. "Hey, no worries! Just sticking to my word. Althouuuugh, I could think of a few ways you could thank me, if you felt so inclined," she jokes, her tone turning flirty at the end. She's mostly teasing, but...
He draws back enough to be able to look her in the face while giving her a sly smile. "Oh yeah?" he asks back, just as flirty. Don't threaten him with a good time~
Bart doesn't know how to respond to someone giving him that look, and only reddens further, focusing more intently on his work without looking back around at Max. Unknowingly it just makes it all the more obvious. Of course, the idea of somehow incorporating the fruit into a dish is intriguing. Gastronomy is something that he has some experience with after all, and he straightens up again with a small nod. "Perhaps we can work together on that. I've taken myriad notes on how certain compounds interact with the body, we could potentially come up with a whole variety of dishes that manipulate the senses to provide new experiences for your clientele."
Bart fingers a ridge on his soldering iron as he considers that, brow knitting as he picks through what he's being told to get the parts that he really needs. The rest he could ask for elaboration on later.
"I would have to ask each of them for the consent, but that would be no problem at least for Lord Osborne, I would just have to compensate him for his assistance. The real problem is getting Touya to agree to such a thing. I'll...oh, I could use a trip into Paradesium to talk with him privately about the idea," he proposes.
Yep. He knew it. It's one-hundred-percent confirmed as far as Max is concerned. Now, all he has to do is think of ways to get them on more dates. He's sure he can help with that.
"Yes, I'd love to. Between the two of us, I think we can make something no one has ever seen before. If we make an entirely new dish, we might even get to name it." Max has always wanted to be able to name something new he invented. He doesn't mind sharing the credit with Bart, either. They can come up with it together.
"I lived with Erik for a long time. He's a fair dealer when it comes to business, so that shouldn't be an obstacle. And, yeah, that's a good idea. Erik has good hearing but even he wouldn't overhear it from there. No matter what, I won't mention a thing about it. I'll leave that up to you three."
"Oh, perhaps! If we can find the right kinds of gelatin I might even be able to show you a few interesting tricks," he adds, knowing that he could help expand Max's repertoire into the funky science experiment realm, just using techniques that he had previously learned for preservation, texture alteration, and other physical effects.
The reassurances from Max do a lot to put his mind at ease. "Thank you, Mr Maximum. I know that if this works out it'll make life much easier for Touya, it's just a matter of getting there first."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2024-07-27 10:24 pm (UTC)And yet, here he is, acting like he would have done something differently.
"I don't like him and I don't forgive him, and you're going to have to live with that, but let me ask you this: If our positions were reversed, would you be able to forgive?"
(no subject)
Date: 2024-07-27 10:51 pm (UTC)All other thoughts screech to a halt when she turns the scenario around and asks him like that. He stops and really thinks. If someone did those things to her, he would be furious! He'd probably be capable of killing them, too.
"If you said you forgave them and wanted to try to reconcile with them, I'd... be really scared for you. I'd be so scared of you getting hurt again and I'd... do anything to make sure that didn't happen." Which is what she's been doing all along. "I'd... try to. I don't know if could."
His hands squeeze hers tighter. "You don't have to forgive him. I can live with that. Can you live with knowing I do?"
(no subject)
Date: 2024-07-28 06:42 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2024-07-28 06:24 pm (UTC)"Love is a burden Max. It's supposed to be. People who love each other have to weigh their decisions and balance their own wants and needs with the wants and needs of their significant other. It's not always rainbows and unicorns, sometimes it's dirty and painful and hard. Sometimes we won't agree with each other."
She sighs, mostly deflated now.
"I have been living with it, if it weren't for Claunthe I never would have touched him without provocation. It just...it was easy to choose him. I knew he wouldn't retaliate for fear of harming you and I didn't want paying this debt to fall back on us in such a way. It still almost did."
(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-02 12:36 am (UTC)Max taps a finger against his lips while he thinks of a good question to start with. Something Angel will be able to answer. Okay, well, there's an easy one to start off with (he hopes.)
"What's been your favorite part of living on the island?"
(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-02 01:20 am (UTC)"I know it won't always be pretty. I do know that. I just... don't want you to feel like you have to hide things from me." Whether to protect him, to spare him, it doesn't matter. They're supposed to be in this together, right?
Max lets a slow breath out through his nose. Erik kept it secret too. Even if he didn't agree ahead of time, they both seemed to think it was the best solution. It... probably was. So, why does it still make his chest ache so much?
"I believe you. I know you and Ylva are both keeping the peace with him for my sake and I... haven't thanked you for that, have I?"
(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-02 01:35 am (UTC)Valdis squeezes his hands.
"I don't need your thanks, just your love."
(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-02 02:37 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-02 02:51 am (UTC)A year in, he's still pretty awed by it.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-09 02:19 am (UTC)A slightly damp but cheeky smile blooms on his lips. "You get both anyway."
(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-09 02:27 am (UTC)"Hmm. I think River might be able to, and I know Mairi made some rings with enchantments too. Erik has one that sings a bird call. I bet you're looking for something that keeps him cool, right? I can't do clothes but I could make some shaved ice for you to take along. Or some ice cream. If I make it, it won't melt."
(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-09 02:32 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-09 03:34 am (UTC)"Thank you, Max. You're real sweet and encouraging."
cw: medical discussion, skin grafting
Date: 2024-08-18 05:40 pm (UTC)Bart pauses to fiddle a moment, hooking a pair of insulated wires to one of the batteries that he and Tarantulas had previously been collaborating on, thumbing the button of a device meant to be a rudimentary soldering iron when the ends are secured. "Yes. Actually, even without the goal of going into Paradesium, I want to offer it as an option for him. His powers are incompatible with his body; it's why he's got such egregious scarring. I'm going to be attempting to treat him with extensive skin grafting over a long span of time, and that all by itself is going to be a difficult road all on its own, but adding to that that it could all be for naught if he overheats and hurts himself again...I could never in good conscience suggest another round of grafting. Especially when we don't actually have the appropriate donors lined up just yet and I am already unwilling to repeatedly strip layers of skin from the few uninjured places that he still has."
cw: medical discussion, skin grafting Cont.
Date: 2024-08-22 05:02 pm (UTC)Speaking of. "Wow, that condition sounds so painful. I'll do anything I can to help. I might know someone else who could do more. Do you know Erik Osborne? He's a vampire I used to live with. His blood can heal wounds, even old ones like scars. All you have to do is apply it to the wound topically, so it shouldn't even hurt. I don't know for sure it would work but it might be worth asking. If I ask, I think he'd agree." He's agreed to worse for Max, after all.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-28 07:33 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-28 11:51 pm (UTC)The door opens a few moments later to reveal Max in his apron with both sleeves rolled up. He smiles in delight the moment he sees her.
"Hi, Mairi, come on in! What's that in your arms? It looks heavy."
(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-29 03:07 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-30 12:30 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-30 12:53 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-30 01:41 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2024-09-05 07:51 pm (UTC)Bart fingers a ridge on his soldering iron as he considers that, brow knitting as he picks through what he's being told to get the parts that he really needs. The rest he could ask for elaboration on later.
"I would have to ask each of them for the consent, but that would be no problem at least for Lord Osborne, I would just have to compensate him for his assistance. The real problem is getting Touya to agree to such a thing. I'll...oh, I could use a trip into Paradesium to talk with him privately about the idea," he proposes.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-09-10 08:08 pm (UTC)"Yes, I'd love to. Between the two of us, I think we can make something no one has ever seen before. If we make an entirely new dish, we might even get to name it." Max has always wanted to be able to name something new he invented. He doesn't mind sharing the credit with Bart, either. They can come up with it together.
"I lived with Erik for a long time. He's a fair dealer when it comes to business, so that shouldn't be an obstacle. And, yeah, that's a good idea. Erik has good hearing but even he wouldn't overhear it from there. No matter what, I won't mention a thing about it. I'll leave that up to you three."
(no subject)
Date: 2024-09-11 01:13 am (UTC)The reassurances from Max do a lot to put his mind at ease. "Thank you, Mr Maximum. I know that if this works out it'll make life much easier for Touya, it's just a matter of getting there first."
Late August cute (Post event)
Date: 2024-09-14 12:41 am (UTC)[Yet his tone is very happy, almost ecstatic.]