Much as she wants to cut in, to argue with him, she allows him to finish, and tries to listen to what he feels as much as what he says. In the end, it feels like he understands, and no matter how much she wants to hold onto her anger, she can't. She doesn't pull away from his touch this time, simply rests in it.
"Love is a burden Max. It's supposed to be. People who love each other have to weigh their decisions and balance their own wants and needs with the wants and needs of their significant other. It's not always rainbows and unicorns, sometimes it's dirty and painful and hard. Sometimes we won't agree with each other."
She sighs, mostly deflated now.
"I have been living with it, if it weren't for Claunthe I never would have touched him without provocation. It just...it was easy to choose him. I knew he wouldn't retaliate for fear of harming you and I didn't want paying this debt to fall back on us in such a way. It still almost did."
He wants to balk at the idea of love being a burden. He doesn't want to think of their love as one, even in moments like this. But he can't argue against the logic she brings to it.
"I know it won't always be pretty. I do know that. I just... don't want you to feel like you have to hide things from me." Whether to protect him, to spare him, it doesn't matter. They're supposed to be in this together, right?
Max lets a slow breath out through his nose. Erik kept it secret too. Even if he didn't agree ahead of time, they both seemed to think it was the best solution. It... probably was. So, why does it still make his chest ache so much?
"I believe you. I know you and Ylva are both keeping the peace with him for my sake and I... haven't thanked you for that, have I?"
"It's in my nature, Max. I can't help but try to hide, just as you can't undo everything you learned in a short period of time, I can't undo the habits of over a hundred years so easily. I am trying."
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to push you. There's just so much I want to know. I'll be patient." Something in his chest eases. It was silly, he knows, but a scared little part of him really needed to hear that this was a habit she had before him, not because of him.
A slightly damp but cheeky smile blooms on his lips. "You get both anyway."
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(no subject)
Date: 2024-07-28 06:24 pm (UTC)"Love is a burden Max. It's supposed to be. People who love each other have to weigh their decisions and balance their own wants and needs with the wants and needs of their significant other. It's not always rainbows and unicorns, sometimes it's dirty and painful and hard. Sometimes we won't agree with each other."
She sighs, mostly deflated now.
"I have been living with it, if it weren't for Claunthe I never would have touched him without provocation. It just...it was easy to choose him. I knew he wouldn't retaliate for fear of harming you and I didn't want paying this debt to fall back on us in such a way. It still almost did."
(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-02 01:20 am (UTC)"I know it won't always be pretty. I do know that. I just... don't want you to feel like you have to hide things from me." Whether to protect him, to spare him, it doesn't matter. They're supposed to be in this together, right?
Max lets a slow breath out through his nose. Erik kept it secret too. Even if he didn't agree ahead of time, they both seemed to think it was the best solution. It... probably was. So, why does it still make his chest ache so much?
"I believe you. I know you and Ylva are both keeping the peace with him for my sake and I... haven't thanked you for that, have I?"
(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-02 01:35 am (UTC)Valdis squeezes his hands.
"I don't need your thanks, just your love."
(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-09 02:19 am (UTC)A slightly damp but cheeky smile blooms on his lips. "You get both anyway."