What do you mean, Max? I was just going to tell you that I took her dancing, swept her off her feet, shared a bottle of the finest Antivan wine and then made sweet, sweet love to her until the sun rose.
Oh, and then I plunged a dagger into her heart. Romantic, no?
[Well, that's something he would have been happier never explicitly knowing.]
Zevran...
[Heavy sigh.]
I'm sure that kind of... lifestyle didn't make forming attachments easy for you. But, is the idea of waking up next to her the next morning, you know, without putting a knife through her heart really that scary for you?
( wow max he thought you were his friend??? friends don't call friends out like that on their emotional vulnerability. )
I cannot imagine how waking up beside a beautiful woman could ever be scary. ( just going to dodge, duck, dip, dive, dodge over the implication that that has anything to do with love or whatever horrendous emotion he is currently feeling. ) Well, unless she is the one intending to do the stabbing.
[Max really is amazed he wasn't hung up on. He was giving it 60/40 odds.]
Funny, isn't it? You'd think it would be easier to tell.
Does she make you feel safe to be yourself? Does talking to her and spending time with her make you feel cared for and appreciated in a way you've never felt before? Does she make you want to become the best version of yourself to make her proud? When you see something good, is she one of the first people you think to tell about it?
Could you see yourself spending every day here with her? Can you picture growing older with her? Does the thought of her getting hurt make your heart ache harder than any stab wound?
( Max would be disappointed by a lot of answers Zevran would be inclined to give for many of those questions. He felt confident he already was the best version of himself regardless of Solona's influence, and what defined 'good', truly?
Some were easier to answer, though. Yes, he could see himself spending every day here with her, and yes the thought of seeing her hurt (again) was an unpleasant one. Growing old...well, he was an assassin. He should have been dead by now anyway, and she already was, so that just seemed silly. )
Emotions are a dangerous thing to an assassin, and I have been trained to be cold and unfeeling to focus solely on killing, on doing my duty as a Crow. ( he felt love once before, he thinks, with Rinna, before he betrayed her trust and watched Talisen run her through. His heart had ached, but it was so easily ignored in that moment; unnecessary as the feeling had been. ) If all that you say is love - then I suppose I do love her.
But it is not my place to burden her with such things.
[Disappointed, maybe, but not shocked. Love is a lot of things, all very individual.]
I don't doubt that. But the Crow aren't here and she is. What if she doesn't see it as a burden at all? What if she feels the same? This is the chance of two lifetimes for you.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-27 12:21 am (UTC)[Max doesn't sound like he's buying it.]
I'm happy to act as a sounding board any time.
And, Zevran, you obviously care about her a lot. I don't see any reason to hold back now. this could be a second chance for both of you.
[Hint, hint.]
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-28 01:04 pm (UTC)You are right, Max. I should take this chance to finally woo her into my bed.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-28 08:05 pm (UTC)Well, sure. That's the name of the game here, isn't it?
But, here's a crazy thought: you could take her on a date.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-29 08:44 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-29 08:52 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-29 08:54 pm (UTC)Oh, and then I plunged a dagger into her heart. Romantic, no?
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-29 09:04 pm (UTC)Zevran...
[Heavy sigh.]
I'm sure that kind of... lifestyle didn't make forming attachments easy for you. But, is the idea of waking up next to her the next morning, you know, without putting a knife through her heart really that scary for you?
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-29 09:12 pm (UTC)I cannot imagine how waking up beside a beautiful woman could ever be scary. ( just going to dodge, duck, dip, dive, dodge over the implication that that has anything to do with love or whatever horrendous emotion he is currently feeling. ) Well, unless she is the one intending to do the stabbing.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-29 09:19 pm (UTC)That's not what I meant and you know it.
Do you like her? I mean like like her.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-29 09:22 pm (UTC)Beyond that, I do not know what you wish me to say, Max.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-29 09:25 pm (UTC)Are you in love with her?
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-29 09:27 pm (UTC)...I do not know. How does one know such a thing?
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-29 09:38 pm (UTC)Funny, isn't it? You'd think it would be easier to tell.
Does she make you feel safe to be yourself? Does talking to her and spending time with her make you feel cared for and appreciated in a way you've never felt before? Does she make you want to become the best version of yourself to make her proud? When you see something good, is she one of the first people you think to tell about it?
Could you see yourself spending every day here with her? Can you picture growing older with her? Does the thought of her getting hurt make your heart ache harder than any stab wound?
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-29 09:51 pm (UTC)Some were easier to answer, though. Yes, he could see himself spending every day here with her, and yes the thought of seeing her hurt (again) was an unpleasant one. Growing old...well, he was an assassin. He should have been dead by now anyway, and she already was, so that just seemed silly. )
Emotions are a dangerous thing to an assassin, and I have been trained to be cold and unfeeling to focus solely on killing, on doing my duty as a Crow. ( he felt love once before, he thinks, with Rinna, before he betrayed her trust and watched Talisen run her through. His heart had ached, but it was so easily ignored in that moment; unnecessary as the feeling had been. ) If all that you say is love - then I suppose I do love her.
But it is not my place to burden her with such things.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-29 09:58 pm (UTC)I don't doubt that. But the Crow aren't here and she is. What if she doesn't see it as a burden at all? What if she feels the same? This is the chance of two lifetimes for you.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-29 10:01 pm (UTC)( he will consider it, at any rate. ) Well, this has been fun, but I really should be going now. Thank you for...indulging me, Max.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-29 11:27 pm (UTC)Good luck, Zevran, whatever you decide to do.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-10-01 04:02 pm (UTC)