Max grips the back of his neck, where the skin has begun to itch terribly. "I don't know. I guess... If you thought he was fucking with you, you call him on it? Get him to tell you the truth?"
Max doesn't know if he can really give better advice without having the full picture. Maybe he'd have called Lioriley too, to let her know Astarion was in a bad way. Although... Max has a sinking suspicion that it might only have made matters worse.
"So she came to help take him home then?" There's no question that she would come. At least now he knows for sure Astarion is safe.
Edgar makes a scoffing noise, low and bitter. "Like he'd ever do anything for me asking it. That's the whole --"
His jaw clenches, and he swallows most of the bitterness back and starts over. "That's why I called her. Because she'd be able to figure it out, or get him to come clean, whichever. And he did, the second she showed up. Except first he told her, the boy thinks I've murdered somebody." With the words, and the imitation of Astarion's haughty tones, a good deal of the bitterness slips back into his voice.
Max fights the urge to put his head in his hands. He knew that Edgar and Astarion were likely to mix about as well as oil and water but... this is more like gunpowder and a match.
"Edgar... did you actually accuse him of murder or was he just saying that? You didn't say it in front of Lioriley, did you?"
"No, I din't fuckin accuse him," Edgar snaps, stung. "And for sure not in front of her, I --"
His jaw works for a moment, and he picks up his half-forgotten mug and takes a deep swallow, visibly trying to calm himself.
"I thought it," he says, lower. "When I first saw him. But I didn't say it, because I thought I might be wrong. And then he said it to my face and I might have believed him straight up, right there, except then he laughed about it. Not about the killing somebody, about me believing it. So no, I did not actually accuse him of murder."
"I'm sorry, Edgar," Max says, voice low. "I'm just trying to understand."
Maybe he should come at it from a different angle. This isn't doing anything but causing more upset. what if he can get Edgar to understand a little something about Astarion? Maybe find a common ground neither of them knows they share.
"I feel like, because of me, you've gotten a skewed perspective on vampires. I mean..." he sighs ruefully. "That dream we shared lately sure didn't help. But, there's really something you should know. Most vampires, once they are old enough, have good control over their hunger. Astarion is definitely old enough. I'm aware he can be a bit of an asshole sometimes, but he isn't dangerous. I can vouch for him on that."
The vampire spawn could maybe afford not to antagonize next time, but that's a conversation for later.
"and another thing you should know: he's not really even a vampire. In his world, he's what they call a vampire spawn. He was drunk by a vampire, killed, made into what he is by force. He never asked for that. And from that point on, he was considered lesser, like a second-class citizen. And... I know you know what that's like."
For the first part of that explanation, Edgar's listening, still with a mulish set to his jaw but nodding. All right, fine, not dangerous, would have been good to know that, but --
Slowly his face slackens as Max keeps talking, wiped blank.
"What," he says, low, unsteady even on the single syllable.
"Despite what he looks like," Max says, pleased that he seems to have gotten Edgar's full attention now.
"You two are far more alike than different. Sure, Astarion has embraced the finer things in life now that he's here, but it's to make up for all that lost time before. Because the life he had was not kind to him. He wasn't free. He wasn't safe or loved."
Then. Something finally clicks for Max. Astarion isn't Front. Because no one here is Front. No one else here is from that same world. There may be similarities sometimes but... you can't just put the same blanket judgment over everyone.
"No. He's not Front. And I'm not Front. But I still act a certain way and dress a certain way, don't I? Now that he's here, he can finally enjoy a way of life he chooses to enjoy. And there's nothing wrong with that. The same way you can experience new things, too."
Max reaches for his friend's hand, to hold gently while he tries, delicately, to make his next point. "We all have different experiences with class and wealth. Good and bad. But...Edgar, no one here comes from the same world as you. No one here is Front.
"And maybe a part of why he didn't treat you very kindly is because he doesn't like being judged for something he wasn't part of. Do you understand?"
Edgar jerks his hand out of Max's grasp to surge to his feet and pace, gesticulating, clutching at the air as though it'll give him the words he needs.
"You don't act anything like that. You don't talk to people like -- like they're dirt you scraped off your shoe. Like you're better than they are. And if he was treated like that --" He flings out one hand to point in the vague direction of the door, and by implication at the absent Astarion -- "then he should fuckin know better, and I fuckin well will judge him for that. You gonna tell me that makes it my fault too?"
Max gets to his feet too, putting his arms out in the kind of gesture one would use to talk down a runaway horse.
"Edgar, I don't know who's fault it is. His? Yours? Hell, maybe it's mine for trying to set you up with Lioriley when she had feelings for someone else. Who the hell can say?"
They all four keep spinning round and round, and Max really can't help thinking none of this would have happened if he'd just stayed far far away from it. If he had a time machine, he'd use it.
"I'm sorry." He sounds defeated now. "You came to me and I'm sorry I don't know what to say. All I was trying to do was give you an outsider's perspective. I know Astarion can act like an ass sometimes and I think maybe that's his way of shielding himself. We all deal with our shit in different ways. I'm not saying it's right either, but I understand it. But I understand why it bothers you, too. I do."
Max gestures weakly at the couch. "Will you please sit back down with me?"
Edgar stands silent for the space of two breaths, chest rising and falling, jaw set ... and then his shoulders sag as the tension goes out of him, and he moves back to the couch to slump down into it. He'll shift a little closer, once Max sits down too.
"None of it's your fault," he mumbles, not looking up. With the anger gone out of his voice, it sounds hollow and strengthless in his own ears. "I was gone on her before you ever said a word about it."
"She's a wonderful person, so I can see why. I know it has to sting. But she's happy with Astarion and I'm happy for them. And... I think you should try to be too."
Max sits and immediately tries to wraps an arm around Edgar --if the man will let him.
"Edgar, you are my very good friend and I love you dearly. Astarion is a good friend of mine too and I also care for him. I'm trying to be fair. I don't want to take sides.
"You don't have to like the man." Max suspects that the feeling is mutual with Astarion. "But for Lioriley's sake, and mine, I'd like to find a way to mend the fences."
Edgar doesn't resist the offered arm, and indeed leans into it a little, still slumped forward; his shoulder hides the bitter unhappiness on his face until he turns his head.
"Oh," he answers quietly. He's not sure what else there is to say and for a moment, the silence lingers.
Maybe this is similar to how Max felt with Lilith. He still cares for the woman but... they just never could seem to get along. Maybe it's for the best to keep distance when the alternative just leads to heartache.
"If that's how you feel then...maybe it's better to go your separate ways. For a little while, at least."
"We don't all have to like everyone just because our friends do," Max says gently. "But, if you happen to find yourself at a gathering where she is also present, you can act civil and just avoid speaking to each other for too long, can't you?
"That's how I'm going about it with Lilith. She and I aren't on speaking terms right now but I don't begrudge if others are friendly with her."
Max rubs soothing circles over Edgar's back as he continues. "I think the best thing to do is stay away, especially from Astarion. Don't talk to him. If you happen to encounter him, if he says anything to you, do your best not to snap back. Just walk away. Okay?"
The bitterness is back again, and his throat feels thick with it. There isn't even any warming rage in it, not anymore.
Low-voiced: "So he says what he likes and I keep my head down, is that it? Thought I was done with that here." He wraps one hand around the other, squeezing until his bones ache.
(Or are you saying the same to him?, he wants to ask, except he doesn't want to risk hearing Max answer no.)
What will it take to keep these two from coming to blows again, metaphorically? God, he hopes only metaphorically. Max has already made up his mind to call Astarion in the morning about this, and to make some of the very same requests. He'd just like to be able to throw a party without worrying about the two of them glaring daggers at each other across the room.
"Edgar," Max says, not able to hide the frustration in his voice, "I'm asking you to ignore him. Don't engage with what he has to say. This time, here, you have the power to make that choice. Sometimes the only way to win is not to play the game."
He squeezes his hands together harder, tries hard to keep his voice steady.
"So if he shows up somewhere and sees me, and says push off, boy, go be somewhere else, how do you figure I win by shutting up and walking away? And don't say he won't do that, cause he has."
"I'm not telling you if he walks into a place, say, the common room and says something like that, that you have to just do what he says."
Take a breath, he tells himself. God willing, Astarion won't do anything like that... again?
"I'm saying, if he walks in and say something snide like that, you can firmly remind him you have every right to be there and then don't say anything else to him. Act like you can't even see him or hear him. Don't let him under your skin."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2021-08-25 08:53 pm (UTC)Max doesn't know if he can really give better advice without having the full picture. Maybe he'd have called Lioriley too, to let her know Astarion was in a bad way. Although... Max has a sinking suspicion that it might only have made matters worse.
"So she came to help take him home then?" There's no question that she would come. At least now he knows for sure Astarion is safe.
"Is that the end of it?"
(no subject)
Date: 2021-08-26 02:48 am (UTC)His jaw clenches, and he swallows most of the bitterness back and starts over. "That's why I called her. Because she'd be able to figure it out, or get him to come clean, whichever. And he did, the second she showed up. Except first he told her, the boy thinks I've murdered somebody." With the words, and the imitation of Astarion's haughty tones, a good deal of the bitterness slips back into his voice.
"And she was fuckin furious. At me."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-08-31 08:26 pm (UTC)"Edgar... did you actually accuse him of murder or was he just saying that? You didn't say it in front of Lioriley, did you?"
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-01 01:55 am (UTC)His jaw works for a moment, and he picks up his half-forgotten mug and takes a deep swallow, visibly trying to calm himself.
"I thought it," he says, lower. "When I first saw him. But I didn't say it, because I thought I might be wrong. And then he said it to my face and I might have believed him straight up, right there, except then he laughed about it. Not about the killing somebody, about me believing it. So no, I did not actually accuse him of murder."
His shoulders hunch. "For all the good that did."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-06 08:51 pm (UTC)Maybe he should come at it from a different angle. This isn't doing anything but causing more upset. what if he can get Edgar to understand a little something about Astarion? Maybe find a common ground neither of them knows they share.
"I feel like, because of me, you've gotten a skewed perspective on vampires. I mean..." he sighs ruefully. "That dream we shared lately sure didn't help. But, there's really something you should know. Most vampires, once they are old enough, have good control over their hunger. Astarion is definitely old enough. I'm aware he can be a bit of an asshole sometimes, but he isn't dangerous. I can vouch for him on that."
The vampire spawn could maybe afford not to antagonize next time, but that's a conversation for later.
"and another thing you should know: he's not really even a vampire. In his world, he's what they call a vampire spawn. He was drunk by a vampire, killed, made into what he is by force. He never asked for that. And from that point on, he was considered lesser, like a second-class citizen. And... I know you know what that's like."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-06 09:20 pm (UTC)Slowly his face slackens as Max keeps talking, wiped blank.
"What," he says, low, unsteady even on the single syllable.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-07 03:21 am (UTC)"You two are far more alike than different. Sure, Astarion has embraced the finer things in life now that he's here, but it's to make up for all that lost time before. Because the life he had was not kind to him. He wasn't free. He wasn't safe or loved."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-09 01:54 am (UTC)As the disbelief fades, what replaces it is an entirely new fury.
"You're telling me he's not even fuckin Front and he still acts like that?"
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-11 04:10 pm (UTC)Then. Something finally clicks for Max. Astarion isn't Front. Because no one here is Front. No one else here is from that same world. There may be similarities sometimes but... you can't just put the same blanket judgment over everyone.
"No. He's not Front. And I'm not Front. But I still act a certain way and dress a certain way, don't I? Now that he's here, he can finally enjoy a way of life he chooses to enjoy. And there's nothing wrong with that. The same way you can experience new things, too."
Max reaches for his friend's hand, to hold gently while he tries, delicately, to make his next point. "We all have different experiences with class and wealth. Good and bad. But...Edgar, no one here comes from the same world as you. No one here is Front.
"And maybe a part of why he didn't treat you very kindly is because he doesn't like being judged for something he wasn't part of. Do you understand?"
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-13 12:13 am (UTC)Edgar jerks his hand out of Max's grasp to surge to his feet and pace, gesticulating, clutching at the air as though it'll give him the words he needs.
"You don't act anything like that. You don't talk to people like -- like they're dirt you scraped off your shoe. Like you're better than they are. And if he was treated like that --" He flings out one hand to point in the vague direction of the door, and by implication at the absent Astarion -- "then he should fuckin know better, and I fuckin well will judge him for that. You gonna tell me that makes it my fault too?"
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-13 12:35 am (UTC)"Edgar, I don't know who's fault it is. His? Yours? Hell, maybe it's mine for trying to set you up with Lioriley when she had feelings for someone else. Who the hell can say?"
They all four keep spinning round and round, and Max really can't help thinking none of this would have happened if he'd just stayed far far away from it. If he had a time machine, he'd use it.
"I'm sorry." He sounds defeated now. "You came to me and I'm sorry I don't know what to say. All I was trying to do was give you an outsider's perspective. I know Astarion can act like an ass sometimes and I think maybe that's his way of shielding himself. We all deal with our shit in different ways. I'm not saying it's right either, but I understand it. But I understand why it bothers you, too. I do."
Max gestures weakly at the couch. "Will you please sit back down with me?"
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-13 01:01 am (UTC)"None of it's your fault," he mumbles, not looking up. With the anger gone out of his voice, it sounds hollow and strengthless in his own ears. "I was gone on her before you ever said a word about it."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-13 01:12 am (UTC)Max sits and immediately tries to wraps an arm around Edgar --if the man will let him.
"Edgar, you are my very good friend and I love you dearly. Astarion is a good friend of mine too and I also care for him. I'm trying to be fair. I don't want to take sides.
"You don't have to like the man." Max suspects that the feeling is mutual with Astarion. "But for Lioriley's sake, and mine, I'd like to find a way to mend the fences."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-13 02:00 am (UTC)"Don't think you need to worry on her account."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-13 02:28 pm (UTC)"Why do you say that?" The question is more to try to discern how far the fallout might land than anything else. Where do things stand now?
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-13 02:36 pm (UTC)He looks away again, swallowing down the ache in his throat, blinking back the stinging in his eyes.
"Think I might be done with her too."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-13 02:47 pm (UTC)Maybe this is similar to how Max felt with Lilith. He still cares for the woman but... they just never could seem to get along. Maybe it's for the best to keep distance when the alternative just leads to heartache.
"If that's how you feel then...maybe it's better to go your separate ways. For a little while, at least."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-13 04:39 pm (UTC)"Dunno how I'm gonna stay clear for good when all my friends love her. Everybody loves her."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-13 05:24 pm (UTC)"That's how I'm going about it with Lilith. She and I aren't on speaking terms right now but I don't begrudge if others are friendly with her."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-13 10:23 pm (UTC)He rubs at his eyes again, struggles to keep his voice from wobbling. "Hate this."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-14 06:10 pm (UTC)Max rubs soothing circles over Edgar's back as he continues. "I think the best thing to do is stay away, especially from Astarion. Don't talk to him. If you happen to encounter him, if he says anything to you, do your best not to snap back. Just walk away. Okay?"
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-14 07:37 pm (UTC)Low-voiced: "So he says what he likes and I keep my head down, is that it? Thought I was done with that here." He wraps one hand around the other, squeezing until his bones ache.
(Or are you saying the same to him?, he wants to ask, except he doesn't want to risk hearing Max answer no.)
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-14 07:51 pm (UTC)"Edgar," Max says, not able to hide the frustration in his voice, "I'm asking you to ignore him. Don't engage with what he has to say. This time, here, you have the power to make that choice. Sometimes the only way to win is not to play the game."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-14 08:16 pm (UTC)"So if he shows up somewhere and sees me, and says push off, boy, go be somewhere else, how do you figure I win by shutting up and walking away? And don't say he won't do that, cause he has."
(no subject)
Date: 2021-09-14 08:25 pm (UTC)Take a breath, he tells himself. God willing, Astarion won't do anything like that... again?
"I'm saying, if he walks in and say something snide like that, you can firmly remind him you have every right to be there and then don't say anything else to him. Act like you can't even see him or hear him. Don't let him under your skin."
(no subject)
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