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Whoa. Okay. What? Where does Silent come into this?

[Max, keep up, buddy.]

I don't... fuck. I really don't want or need to know who all you want to bang. But, Christ almighty, how did Silent learn about your fight with Lexa? Does Beau know too?

[Ren takes a breath and starts;]

Me 'nd Silent can't fuck 'cos Garou can't fuck each other. That's the Law. Like werewolf law. If we broke that we'd be sent away from our packs 'nd our tribes forever.

Beau was a fuckin' bitch and told Silent that me 'nd her shouldn't fight any more 'cos neither of us is good at controlling ourselves. But that's not true. I'm really good at controlling meself.

So I went down to the ship to tell beau that she was full of shit and she needs to pack in saying shit like that to Silent 'cos now Silent won't fight me no more. 'Cos she thinks I'm wanting to fuck her. Even if I was we properly couldn't. 'Cos not only is she a Red Talon, she's a metis. 'Nd that's even worse than wantin' to be with a woman as far as my lot are concerned.

'Nd Beau said Lexa had been chatting shit to her about what I'd been doin' and I kind of lost me temper but I didn't hit her or anything. I just called her a bitch.

...

I don't think Silent knows. Rowan don't either. I...kind of told them I was into Corbin to make sure they didn't find out about Lexa.

[And that's everything? She thinks?]

Oh. And I picked Corbin 'cos I couldn't remember Harry's name 'nd he was the only lad who I could think of at short notice.

...and I broke the pool.

[This has turned into confession time. Sorry Max.]

And I tried to punch a nerd. But he was magic? So, I didn't actually get to punch 'im.

Werewolves arn't allowed to fuck each other? What? Why? Wouldn't that make it easier? Then you wouldn't have to keep your big secret from your partner... I don't know what a Metis is either...

[This makes no sense to him at all.]

Uh...Ren, don't take this the wrong way? Beau might have a point about the two of you.

[No. Seriously. Beau has absolutely nailed it. Between Ren and Silent, he's not sure who's been the bigger disaster lately. Come on girls, it's not a contest.]

And before you go calling me a bitch for pointing that out, let me just remind you why we are having this conversation right now? To recap: you called someone a bitch, you're actively trying to fight Silent, you broke a pool, in public, because a girl YOU LIKE kissed you, in public. Then you lied about Corbin and dragged him into this thing...

[Dear god, he needs to go check on Corbin next, doesn't he?]

And you only did that because you couldn't remember the guy you would have preferred to lie about's name? Because dragging Harry into this would have been better? No. I'll answer that for you. It wouldn't have.

[Jesus christ. She couldn't remember his name but she wanted to say they were dating? What the hell is Harry supposed to think of THAT? And... who is magic nerd? Does he have a name?]

And to top it all off you're trying to punch complete strangers?? Ren... please, for the love of god? At least find out their names first so I can send them a goddamn basket of cookies later. Do you not realize how bad that sounds?

[He could use a drink or three right now.]

Does any of that sound like it's under control to you?

[Ren had called for help for a reason. She was in over her head. Maybe if she had her Aunt here the situation would be different. She didn't know the pack well enough yet to know if she would be better off with them being there

The Fionn lowered her head and, to her credit, didn't fight the telling that Max was giving her.]

It isn't under control.

That's why I need help before I fuck it up even worse.

Okay. Admitting that is a good first step.

[Since he's made his point now, his voice softens, less scolding.]

I'm going to help you. We'll get you sorted out with Lexa. I'll coach you on it. But first, we need to call Rowan.

I know Rowan is your Alpha. And I think... I think your Alpha needs to be looped in on some of this. For one thing, you need to come clean about Lexa. Tell them it isn't Corbin you want to date, it's her. If you're serious about wanting to be with Lexa, then you need to be able to do that.

What?

No. I don't wanna talk to Rowan. I called you, not Rowan.

[Ren looks stricken at the prospect of telling Rowan about all of this.]

We don't need to tell Rowan.

Yes we do. You do.

[His face is set in a grim line. Arms crossed. He's not going to budge on this.]

You need to cut the bullshit and start telling them the truth. Ren, if you and Lexa are going to be an item, they will find out anyway. They should find out from you.

I don't want to tell Rowan this shit. They're going to think I'm a total twat.

[Which, yeah, she has been. But she doesn't went Rowan to know about it. She likes an aura of vague capability.]

Ren... They're going to think a lot worse when I tell them instead of you.

Take responsibility for this and you'll come out looking a lot better. Being able to admit when you've made a mistake is the hallmark of a mature person, wouldn't you agree? I think Rowan will be impressed.

[Okay, maybe not. BUT, it will be better to get the air cleared like this.]

Edited Date: 2020-10-10 10:44 pm (UTC)

But this ain't just one mistake. It's like six at the very least. 'Nd then I lied to cover up the mistakes and made people help us who didn't need to get dragged into it and--

[Ren whines. And she flops forward in abject misery. She doesn't want to deal with the consequences of her actions, thank you very much.]

And?

[Max is giving her such a 'dad' look right now.]

You've done a good job of admitting what you've done wrong to me, but you can't move forward from this until you've stopped covering it all up with more bullshit. You owe them an apology too, for lying.

I'm serious about this Ren. I will call Rowan the moment I leave here.

[Fuck. He isn't kidding around. Is he?

And Ren has always been weak in the face of disappointment from father figures. She actively doesn't meet Max's eye, playing with the toggles on her blanket and she makes a sulky teenager noise of frustration. She isn't usually this immature but she's also hitting the limits of her ability to communicate her feelings.]

Fine. Fine. I'll call Rowan.

[Ren continues to grumble even as she picks up her tome again.]

[Suddenly it hits him...who Ren really reminds him of. His sister. Jennifer used to whine like that. Especially when Max (well, Jonah, at the time) threatened to snitch on her to Dad. Just like this.

A profound sense of home sickness, for a home he's not seen in six years, slams him in the chest, stealing his breath. But he can't let it overwhelm him here. It's Ren who needs the comfort now.]

Thank you. [His voice croaks like a frog but he gets it under control quickly.]

It will be okay, Ren. I'll be right here with you the whole time. You can do this.

[His reassurance seemed to urge her on and Ren nods. She leans over to squeeze his forearm in thanks. And then she opens her Tome to make contact with Rowan.]

Uh...

Hi, Rowan. Y'got a minute? I need to get something off me chest.

[Rowan picks up quickly, as normal when they're not at work, smiling at Ren across the connection.]

Heya, Ren! What's up?

[They're a little suspicious, just because no one picks up with those words unless they've done something, but hopefully no one's hurt and it can be fixed.]

[Max loosens his grip on her so she can reach for the tome, but his hand stays on her as a constant reassurance.

When Rowan picks up, he clears his throat and speaks, so they will know he's listening too.]

Ren and I had a discussion, and she asked me to help her get something out in the open.

[He gives Ren an encouraging push.]

It's okay. You've got this.

[Ren glances at Max for reassurance. The thought does cross her mind that she could just slam it closed and run off to the woods like Silent but; no fuck that. She isn't a wimp.]

Um. So. I was...

I asked Max for help. 'Cos, things have kinda gotten kinda out of control kinda. [Ren is pointedly not looking at Rowan. She takes a BIG BREATH and then let's loose;]

Corbin isn't my mate. I said his name 'cos I couldn't remember Harry's and I only said them 'cos I didn't want you to know who I like. And I asked Corbin to lie for me. And I punched a Magic Nerd 'cos he was being a dick. But I didn't actually hurt him but he threw me down a hallway. And Beau said I want to fuck Silent and she wouldn't punch us even though I called her a bitch. I broke the pool 'cos Lexa kissed me outside and I freaked out 'cos I want to kiss Lexa but I thought the spirits might find out. And I said some bad things to her and told her we couldn't do nothin' anymore 'cos she was being too nice to us and I freaked out. And I tried to apologise with a cake but I didn't apologise right and now she's talking to Beau about us and I don't think I like Beau very much actually 'cos she thinks she's cleverer than us.

And I don't want to fuck Silent. I just want to fight her 'cos she's my friend and she's proper good at fighting. And I didn't like that Beau said that when she doesn't know anything about us.

...[Wait. She forgot something.] and I'm sorry for lying to you.

Max? [That he's there is a surprise, and Rowan hesitates, glancing off to the side as though they could see him. Sadly not, but it makes them worry that Ren really has gotten herself into more trouble than she can handle.

But at least that means that they stop and listen to her properly, watching her face as she speaks. It's a lot to take in. That's a lot of people.]

Bit out of control, yeah. [Rowan agrees, but they give her a reassuring smile.] That's a lot. But we can sort it. I told you, right? I got your back. That's what pack's for. [Thank goodness Max does too.

That really was a lot, though. Rowan feels like they needed to have taken notes. One part jumps out though.] I already knew about Lexa though. Sorry. I know you didn't mean to, but you hurt her a lot. But she still cares about you.

Oh, and also. Apology accepted. Just tell me next time before it gets this bad, okay?

Yeah, Max. Max is--

[It was weird, even to Ren that she had called Max first rather than the pack about this stuff. Silent wouldn't have gotten it. But Rowan may have.]

I trust Max not to bullshit me. He tells me when I'm wrong even if I don't want to hear it.

[Ren's expression darkens as Rowan owns up to knowing about the Lexa situation. Max might feel the atmosphere in the room shift from uncomfortable to tense as Ren's rage starts to creep up. How many people had Lexa told about her personal struggles?

She struggles for a reply.]

I didn't want to hurt her. I just...didn't realise things were that different here.

[Max does feel the shift. So he moves in a little closer to Ren, and his hand squeezes her a little tighter again.]

Ren, keep in mind other people need to vent too. Just like you did. And this just makes it even better that we're all getting on the same page now. Right?

[It's flattering as hell to hear Ren appreciates his no-nonsense approach. And since she does, he's going to keep the trend going.]

It's going to be okay. Sometimes we hurt people we care about without meaning to, and that's part of life. We have to own up to it when it happens, and make it right. That's what you're going to do.

[Rowan could quite happily proclaim Max's merits all day, and they think that he's a perfect person to go to, if it wasn't for the fact that they don't want him burdened with everything. Still, he seems to be doing a good job with Ren, and they're both proud and pleased to see him shift in closer to her, protectively.]

That's what I told her. That things are different back home. I know you didn't mean to hurt her, and I think I got that across. [She was pretty drunk at the time.]

Look, this is weird when I'm just down the corridor. Can I come over? It's nicer to talk in person.

[It was more the point that Ren have been very specific about not wanting Rowan or Silent to know. But, she didn't know what had led to it. With Max shifting in, it draws her attention away from what could have been an unfortunate spike of anger.]

Yeah. You can.

The place is a shit-tip though.

[Ren has been too busy having a Turmoil to tidy up and it's showing.]

It might be best if you do.

[Max is relieved to feel Ren settle a little, but he still suspects having Rowan here physically might be a big help. If Ren does lose her temper Max doesn't have much hope of stopping her.]

Ren, it'll be fine. Please, Rowan, come.

Eh, it can’t be worse than my brothers’ room. [They shrug and give a grin.] I’ll be there in a minute.

[And it really doesn’t take much longer than that, since she’s just down the corridor. They knock on the door for politeness’ sake, before pushing it open and coming in, coming it up again behind them. They flash a fond smile at Max, before focusing on the younger Garou, flopping down on her other side and resting their weight against her in the same way they would if they were in lupus.]

So what’s the biggest problem right now? What’s the one that’s bothering you the most? [Because that’s where they’ll start unpicking this all from. And while they think they know where the root of the issue lies, they want to hear from Ren what she thinks.]

[Ren doesn't meet Rowan's eye when they come in, thick in the 'I Know I've Done A Bad Thing You Don't Need To Tell Me' pre-emptive shame display that she usually used to avoid trouble. But the way that Rowan rests against her is reassuring and Ren leans against them. They don't seem mad. So. That's confusing. She should be getting told off.

She considered the question. What was the part of this that was causing her the most ache?]

I don't...[Her answer is slow as she thinks about how to phrase this.] I don't know how to have what I want and still be a good Fionn. I have to be a good Fionn. I have to be the best. Heroes, the proper ones, resist what they want 'cos it's what they have to do. I should be concentrating on gettin' back home not twisting myself in knots over some lass.

And everyone keeps sayin' that it don't matter what happens here, but my Aunt said the spirits know everythin' we do. The Fianna and the Fair Folk are friends of old, every Fionn gets taught that when we're trained. We made them or they made us or-- I don't know, I'm not a fucking Bard. But...how can we even trust that what happens here won't get home? Just 'cos we can't see them, don't mean the spirits ain't watching.

And then--

I don't even know if that's what's botherin' me, 'cos I don't like what I said to her. That was a shitey thing to say and I don't like that-- She's the only person who isn't afraid of me. Everyone's always afraid of me other than Garou. I just...I just want to not--

[Ren growls in frustration as she struggles to express herself.]

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