[She starts but stops when Max tells her to think about it and she's quiet for a good five minutes as she muddles through the issue. Because there are still problems with the whole concept. Mostly her own behaviour and how she's gone on.]
She...it scared me. When she tried to make me stay. 'Cos nobody's ever done that before. I ain't-- people don't expect it out of me, but, I haven't ever had a boyfriend or, well, the girl equivalent. People don't want to be around us, Max. Not for a long time. Some people are horny for danger 'nd then they leave once they get what they want. Normal people don't stick about.
...my little brother 'nd sister can't be around me 'cos they're afraid of us.
She hasn't ever been afraid of me. I like how her hair smells and I like that she....she keeps sayin' she wants me to be better and do better and...She's strong and she's smart, like, really smart. She's basically fucking royalty and a leader to her people 'nd...
What if I fall in love with her? She's too perfect. That's the fuckin' problem, Max. What if I fall in love with her and then I forget her 'nd its like it never even happened?
[It's a good thing he knows all of what she is now, or else some of that would have made no sense. But it gives him pause... people were afraid of her? He can't imagine the kind of damage that would do to his self-esteem. This problem has layers.
But then she poses that question and he can feel it lodging in his heart. He has that fear too. For him, it's too late. If he lets himself think about losing Lucas or Rowan tomorrow, he might go insane. It is possible, like it or not. It could happen. But that's not enough to keep him from feeling what he feels.
Because truth be told, no tomorrow is ever guaranteed. He was a twenty-one-year-old college boy with his whole life ahead of him once. It all changed in one blink of an eye. He's learned better now than to hold himself back from seizing happiness where he can get it. Time is too short. Only the vampires get to live forever.]
What if you live your whole life here knowing you could have been happy with her and you didn't take the chance? Ren... I know this is terrifying, but what if you both could be happy together?
Tomorrow is never certain. Not here. Not back home. If all you have is today, then why not do what will make you happy? Sometimes love is about being brave and taking the leap.
You think...because your gods are watching... you can't...
[Oof. Big oof. This is tougher than he thought.]
Rowan hasn't told me a lot about that, specifically. But, I guess my question is... why would being with someone you love be considered selfish? How is it wrong?
[Oh no. He is not at all a fan of this part of werewolf culture. He didn't like it when Rowan explained it. He still doesn't. But he also recognizes that it's not his place to challenge it for her. Better to focus on what's relevant to the here and now.]
But if the spirits are watching, then they must know that it's not possible to get pregnant here. Right?
Okay. So, they would be aware that while you are here in this realm, it wouldn't make much difference who you mated with. Right? Because, regardless, you can't fulfill that particular duty.
Uh. Well... judging by what you said earlier? Let's see...
Could be Lilith, I don't know if she's royalty or not but she fits the bill on attitude. I'd say Beau or Glinda but they're together. Same for Peony, she's with Milla last I heard. There's Liz...I don't know too much about her history yet. Or daisy's, or Bree's or many of the other ladies. But Bree said she has a son so not sure what that means for relationships here.
And then there's my most likely candidate: Lexa. I know for a fact she was a leader to her people. And she's as sharp as a tack. And... you know if I think about it, you two would be a nice pair. Same kind of fire in your souls.
[You ever see a turtle retract her head into her shell, Max? Because there's a fully grown Garou trying to replicate that look by retreating into the mess of blankets she has around her. She's just going to flump face forward while she tries not to be mortified.
[Oh no. He slaps a hand over his mouth to stifle a laugh as Ren retreats into the blankets like that. Poor thing. He shouldn't laugh, really. But it's just so cute. She's so young.]
Okay. So, Ren. Tell me exactly what happened with Lexa. You two got in a fight over this, I assume? Have you tried talking to her since it all blew up?
[And then messaged Lexa instead of going in person... Oh. No.
Max takes the tome and reads through it. His face stays utterly blank the whole time, while internally he is cringing hard. That... could have gone better. His heart really goes out to Lexa. After all the tragedy she went through, she's still willing to take a chance on love. Max thinks she has the right idea about this place. Max also thinks the woman has god-like patience.]
Okay... so, the good news is: she is still willing to give it a try with you if you are. But, here's the thing... you need to be sure the next time you talk to her that you're not going to back out again.
This is all or nothing, Ren. You need to be ready to acknowledge her to anyone that asks. You need to be proud to call her yours. And you really need to tell her you're sorry for treating her love like a dirty secret. I think that's where you hurt her most.
If she's really special to you, then act like it all the time, not just the times when it's convenient for you. Okay? Show her she's worth more to you than a reputation that isn't even necessary to keep here. That's what she's asking for.
Oh for fucks sake! Why am I the only one not to have told people!
[Really she was the most likely candidate to break the Veil being the youngest and one of the two dumbest.
She at least has the decency to look vaguely ashamed of herself.] I just....I wanted to know she was okay and I know she would be mad at me still or make me talk about stuff and....it seemed like a good idea at the time?
Blame Milla. She's the one that let slip that Rowan made Me and Lucas their Mates.
[A fact he is STILL getting his head around. But no. Focus. One crisis at a time.]
Doing it because you know she'll want to talk to you is why it's bad! You know she'd be mad at you, so you think sneaking around is the better play? Jesus christ. Ren, you have to talk to her. Actually talk to her. This has gone on way too long.
At this point, you only stand to make her more pissed off the longer you keep her waiting. Ren, she's got an impressive amount of patience but it must be about gone by now. How long ago did this all start?
The 'pool incident' was under a month ago. I apooogised a couple of week ago.
But then Beau said something to Silent about me wanting to fuck Silent even though I absolutely don't want to and ew so I went to set her straight 'nd she kept saying all this shit like 'I know what you did to Lexa' and like that's not her fucking business, the cheeky bitch. She wouldn't even hit me. Fucking rude.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-09 06:19 pm (UTC)[She starts but stops when Max tells her to think about it and she's quiet for a good five minutes as she muddles through the issue. Because there are still problems with the whole concept. Mostly her own behaviour and how she's gone on.]
She...it scared me. When she tried to make me stay. 'Cos nobody's ever done that before. I ain't-- people don't expect it out of me, but, I haven't ever had a boyfriend or, well, the girl equivalent. People don't want to be around us, Max. Not for a long time. Some people are horny for danger 'nd then they leave once they get what they want. Normal people don't stick about.
...my little brother 'nd sister can't be around me 'cos they're afraid of us.
She hasn't ever been afraid of me. I like how her hair smells and I like that she....she keeps sayin' she wants me to be better and do better and...She's strong and she's smart, like, really smart. She's basically fucking royalty and a leader to her people 'nd...
What if I fall in love with her? She's too perfect. That's the fuckin' problem, Max. What if I fall in love with her and then I forget her 'nd its like it never even happened?
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-09 06:40 pm (UTC)But then she poses that question and he can feel it lodging in his heart. He has that fear too. For him, it's too late. If he lets himself think about losing Lucas or Rowan tomorrow, he might go insane. It is possible, like it or not. It could happen. But that's not enough to keep him from feeling what he feels.
Because truth be told, no tomorrow is ever guaranteed. He was a twenty-one-year-old college boy with his whole life ahead of him once. It all changed in one blink of an eye. He's learned better now than to hold himself back from seizing happiness where he can get it. Time is too short. Only the vampires get to live forever.]
What if you live your whole life here knowing you could have been happy with her and you didn't take the chance? Ren... I know this is terrifying, but what if you both could be happy together?
Tomorrow is never certain. Not here. Not back home. If all you have is today, then why not do what will make you happy? Sometimes love is about being brave and taking the leap.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-09 06:59 pm (UTC)I don't know what Rowan has told you about spirits. Spirits watch what we do. They hold our tales. They carry the memories of our reknown.
...I'm worried that if I'm selfish and chose the choice I want that it will get back to my family.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-09 07:04 pm (UTC)[Oof. Big oof. This is tougher than he thought.]
Rowan hasn't told me a lot about that, specifically. But, I guess my question is... why would being with someone you love be considered selfish? How is it wrong?
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-09 07:08 pm (UTC)Because I like lads as much as I like lasses. And I can't have a baby with a women. We're dying out 'nd...I come from a good family. We're warriors.
I've got a responsibility.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-09 07:17 pm (UTC)[Oh no. He is not at all a fan of this part of werewolf culture. He didn't like it when Rowan explained it. He still doesn't. But he also recognizes that it's not his place to challenge it for her. Better to focus on what's relevant to the here and now.]
But if the spirits are watching, then they must know that it's not possible to get pregnant here. Right?
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-09 07:23 pm (UTC)[Ren's forehead furrows in deep thought. And this was a class in werewolf school she paid attention in.]
Yyyyyeah? I guess...they would be aware of that.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-09 07:31 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-09 07:35 pm (UTC)...
[Ren is silent for a moment as she works through that information. She's no theurge. Spirits aren't her speciality. But...it actually seems airtight.]
Yeah?
Yeah. Oh fuck. Max. You're a fuckin' genius.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-09 07:45 pm (UTC)Maybe it does? He's not sure. He better check.]
Thanks. I think.
So, you're going to go for it? You're going to try letting this woman you very clearly like have a shot at something more than just a fling?
By the way, are you going to tell me the name of this lucky lass? I have some guesses but, uh, I'd rather be clear about it.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-09 07:56 pm (UTC)I wanna know your guess first.
[She needs to know how obvious she's been.]
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-09 08:12 pm (UTC)Could be Lilith, I don't know if she's royalty or not but she fits the bill on attitude. I'd say Beau or Glinda but they're together. Same for Peony, she's with Milla last I heard. There's Liz...I don't know too much about her history yet. Or daisy's, or Bree's or many of the other ladies. But Bree said she has a son so not sure what that means for relationships here.
And then there's my most likely candidate: Lexa. I know for a fact she was a leader to her people. And she's as sharp as a tack. And... you know if I think about it, you two would be a nice pair. Same kind of fire in your souls.
[He raises an eyebrow at her.]
Well? Am I off the mark?
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-09 08:17 pm (UTC)Who knew Ren was capable of blushing?
Muffled;] It's Lexa.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-09 08:31 pm (UTC)[Oh no. He slaps a hand over his mouth to stifle a laugh as Ren retreats into the blankets like that. Poor thing. He shouldn't laugh, really. But it's just so cute. She's so young.]
Okay. So, Ren. Tell me exactly what happened with Lexa. You two got in a fight over this, I assume? Have you tried talking to her since it all blew up?
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-09 08:52 pm (UTC)Yeah. I sent her a cake 'nd we wrote to each other 'cos sometimes I lose my temper. Thought that was smarter. But...it didn't go so good.
[She turns to where she discarded her tome and turns to the series of messages that she's had with Lexa a few weeks ago and offers it to Max.]
I apologised. I...freaked out a bit. She kissed us outside and...I kinda broke the pool.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-09 09:12 pm (UTC)[And then messaged Lexa instead of going in person... Oh. No.
Max takes the tome and reads through it. His face stays utterly blank the whole time, while internally he is cringing hard. That... could have gone better. His heart really goes out to Lexa. After all the tragedy she went through, she's still willing to take a chance on love. Max thinks she has the right idea about this place. Max also thinks the woman has god-like patience.]
Okay... so, the good news is: she is still willing to give it a try with you if you are. But, here's the thing... you need to be sure the next time you talk to her that you're not going to back out again.
This is all or nothing, Ren. You need to be ready to acknowledge her to anyone that asks. You need to be proud to call her yours. And you really need to tell her you're sorry for treating her love like a dirty secret. I think that's where you hurt her most.
If she's really special to you, then act like it all the time, not just the times when it's convenient for you. Okay? Show her she's worth more to you than a reputation that isn't even necessary to keep here. That's what she's asking for.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-09 10:50 pm (UTC)[Ren tucks her knees up to her chest.]
'Cos I didn't want to get angry and give her a reason to be scared of me.
I've been checkin' in on her since that. But not telling her its me. So that she doesn't catch on that it's me.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-09 10:58 pm (UTC)[He drags his hands down his face.]
When you say check on her... how do you mean?
[Max is screaming internally because please do not tell him you went wolf on her and STALKED HER.]
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-10 05:10 am (UTC)....only problem is, she might know I can do that cos of Silent and her big mouth.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-10 05:36 am (UTC)[Max is just screaming internally. It's fine.]
Ren. You have to stop doing that right now. If there's even a chance she knows it's you... do you have any idea how pissed that's going to make her?
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-10 05:44 am (UTC)[Really she was the most likely candidate to break the Veil being the youngest and one of the two dumbest.
She at least has the decency to look vaguely ashamed of herself.] I just....I wanted to know she was okay and I know she would be mad at me still or make me talk about stuff and....it seemed like a good idea at the time?
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-10 05:52 am (UTC)[A fact he is STILL getting his head around. But no. Focus. One crisis at a time.]
Doing it because you know she'll want to talk to you is why it's bad! You know she'd be mad at you, so you think sneaking around is the better play? Jesus christ. Ren, you have to talk to her. Actually talk to her. This has gone on way too long.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-10 06:11 am (UTC)[Ren whines and it's a distinctly Not Human noise but sometimes it really is easier to express yourself as a wolf than a human.]
But what if she's pissed off with us?
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-10 06:23 am (UTC)At this point, you only stand to make her more pissed off the longer you keep her waiting. Ren, she's got an impressive amount of patience but it must be about gone by now. How long ago did this all start?
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-10 06:32 am (UTC)But then Beau said something to Silent about me wanting to fuck Silent even though I absolutely don't want to and ew so I went to set her straight 'nd she kept saying all this shit like 'I know what you did to Lexa' and like that's not her fucking business, the cheeky bitch. She wouldn't even hit me. Fucking rude.
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