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In me room.

I'm just...fuck I'm an idiot. I'm such a fucking idiot.

Why do I fuck everything up?

Whoa, whao, whao! Slow down! You're not an idiot. We all make mistakes.

I'm on my way over there right now. Hang tight for me, okay?

[Anyone out in the halls is going to see a man in a full suit sprinting like his life depends on it. He'll be at Ren's door in no time, knocking before he tries to enter.]

It's me, Ren. I'm coming in.

[And he'll find the miserable sight of Ren sat on her floor, wrapped up in her blanket and thick in the midsts of teenage angst.

The Fianna were known for being a passionate people. But passionate meant more than just feeling the highs of life. The lows were just as spectacular. And Ren? Well, she had spent the better part of a day being a miserable so and so as the red rimmed eyes and balled up tissues attest.]

Hi Max.

[He's at her side immediately, wrapping his arms around her in a big bear hug.]

Oh, Ren. Tell me what happened.

I've just fucked everything up, Max. I'm so fucking stupid and I don't know what to do and I miss me Dad and--

Everything I do keeps turning to shit and people are mad at us even though I'm trying to do what I'm meant t'be doin' 'nd...I'm not good at talking. Nobody ever made me be good at talkin'.

[Ren sniffs and leans into Max.] I'm sick of everything. I want to go home.

[She misses her dad... that hits him like an arrow to the gut.]

I understand... when you can't even call and hear his voice again... I know just how you feel. It makes you sick inside.

[His arms squeeze her tighter.]

And it can feel like you're adrift with no clue where you're going or what you're doing, right?

But I'll help you, Ren, whatever it is. Just tell me what you need. Tell me what started all of this.

[Ren nods. It had been hard leaving home that first time after her change but at least she had been with family. And once she had passed she had been encouraged to connect with her kin as much as she could. They were the reason she fought so hard and now...

Now she was letting them down.]
Me Dad. He's...there's nobody like me dad. He's always been me hero. He'd know what to say t'set us right.

But...that's the problem. I've been doing stuff that'd...he wouldn't--

[She groans in frustration.]

There's this person 'nd they ain't the sort of person Da would approve of. Me dad, he's traditional. I...

I ain't always so traditional. [It's a hard admission to make. It means admitting that she's a lesser Fionn. That she's straying from what is expected of her.] I...

...they're a girl.

Oh.

[Just that one word carries with it so much sympathy and understanding. He lives in a place and a time where being a gay or a lesbian and anything in-between is not widely accepted and is, sadly, demonized by a large majority of the population.

Max was fortunate enough to have a father more understanding than most. Max's father was never confortable with the idea but he tried his best not to act openly hostile to it. Max knows that's a blessing too few have.]

So, you think because the person you like is a woman, you're letting your dad down?

I don't even know if I like her like that but she keeps pushin' me. [This was the point of conflict.]

I shagged lasses before but they never stuck about. It was only even one night stands 'nd girls who knew what the deal was. Who knew who me family was 'nd why I couldn't, that it had t'be discrete. I ain't good at being discrete. But I never got caught before.

[Ren had kept this bottled up for so long that all her words came out in a rush of feeling and thoughts.]

And when I showed up here, we shagged and I thought it was the same here. But she keeps tryin' to get us to stay and she's...she isn't actin' on that it's just shagging. And I tried to explain it there and now she fuckin' hates us. She says it doesn't matter how I was brought up 'cos theres nothin' wrong with liking girls and I fucking know but I can't do that.

And now she's been tellin' other people about it 'nd I've just fucked it all and I want t'go home.

[Well. That sure is a lot to unpack. Max stays quiet a moment trying to sort through it all to find the most important issues to address. Emotional triage, as it were.]

Okay. So it sounds like the two of you had different expectations for the relationship that you didn't really talk out beforehand. Look, I'm not judging you on that. I've made my own blunders.

[Milla comes to mind immediately.]

But, f you ask me, the most important thing you need to answer for yourself is this: what DO you want this woman to be to you? Now, before you answer take a moment to think about it. Really think about it.

Keep in mind that the things that happen here don't count back home. So, forget what your dad would want. Forget what your family or friends would want. What would YOU want? If every single possibility was open to you? If you could have anything at all with no consequences...what would you pick?

Just say it. Doesn't matter if you can't have it. Just tell me: Would you stay with this woman? Yes or no?

I...

[She starts but stops when Max tells her to think about it and she's quiet for a good five minutes as she muddles through the issue. Because there are still problems with the whole concept. Mostly her own behaviour and how she's gone on.]

She...it scared me. When she tried to make me stay. 'Cos nobody's ever done that before. I ain't-- people don't expect it out of me, but, I haven't ever had a boyfriend or, well, the girl equivalent. People don't want to be around us, Max. Not for a long time. Some people are horny for danger 'nd then they leave once they get what they want. Normal people don't stick about.

...my little brother 'nd sister can't be around me 'cos they're afraid of us.

She hasn't ever been afraid of me. I like how her hair smells and I like that she....she keeps sayin' she wants me to be better and do better and...She's strong and she's smart, like, really smart. She's basically fucking royalty and a leader to her people 'nd...

What if I fall in love with her? She's too perfect. That's the fuckin' problem, Max. What if I fall in love with her and then I forget her 'nd its like it never even happened?

[It's a good thing he knows all of what she is now, or else some of that would have made no sense. But it gives him pause... people were afraid of her? He can't imagine the kind of damage that would do to his self-esteem. This problem has layers.

But then she poses that question and he can feel it lodging in his heart. He has that fear too. For him, it's too late. If he lets himself think about losing Lucas or Rowan tomorrow, he might go insane. It is possible, like it or not. It could happen. But that's not enough to keep him from feeling what he feels.

Because truth be told, no tomorrow is ever guaranteed. He was a twenty-one-year-old college boy with his whole life ahead of him once. It all changed in one blink of an eye. He's learned better now than to hold himself back from seizing happiness where he can get it. Time is too short. Only the vampires get to live forever.]

What if you live your whole life here knowing you could have been happy with her and you didn't take the chance? Ren... I know this is terrifying, but what if you both could be happy together?

Tomorrow is never certain. Not here. Not back home. If all you have is today, then why not do what will make you happy? Sometimes love is about being brave and taking the leap.

[Full Moons are best admired from a distance, it's an old knowledge but it remains too true.]

I don't know what Rowan has told you about spirits. Spirits watch what we do. They hold our tales. They carry the memories of our reknown.

...I'm worried that if I'm selfish and chose the choice I want that it will get back to my family.

You think...because your gods are watching... you can't...

[Oof. Big oof. This is tougher than he thought.]

Rowan hasn't told me a lot about that, specifically. But, I guess my question is... why would being with someone you love be considered selfish? How is it wrong?

Spirits ain't gods.

Because I like lads as much as I like lasses. And I can't have a baby with a women. We're dying out 'nd...I come from a good family. We're warriors.

I've got a responsibility.

Sorry. My mistake.

[Oh no. He is not at all a fan of this part of werewolf culture. He didn't like it when Rowan explained it. He still doesn't. But he also recognizes that it's not his place to challenge it for her. Better to focus on what's relevant to the here and now.]

But if the spirits are watching, then they must know that it's not possible to get pregnant here. Right?

I...uh.

[Ren's forehead furrows in deep thought. And this was a class in werewolf school she paid attention in.]

Yyyyyeah? I guess...they would be aware of that.

Okay. So, they would be aware that while you are here in this realm, it wouldn't make much difference who you mated with. Right? Because, regardless, you can't fulfill that particular duty.

...

...

[Ren is silent for a moment as she works through that information. She's no theurge. Spirits aren't her speciality. But...it actually seems airtight.]

Yeah?

Yeah. Oh fuck. Max. You're a fuckin' genius.

[He waits with bated breath. Oh please let this land.

Maybe it does? He's not sure. He better check.]

Thanks. I think.

So, you're going to go for it? You're going to try letting this woman you very clearly like have a shot at something more than just a fling?

By the way, are you going to tell me the name of this lucky lass? I have some guesses but, uh, I'd rather be clear about it.

Wait.

I wanna know your guess first.

[She needs to know how obvious she's been.]

Uh. Well... judging by what you said earlier? Let's see...

Could be Lilith, I don't know if she's royalty or not but she fits the bill on attitude. I'd say Beau or Glinda but they're together. Same for Peony, she's with Milla last I heard. There's Liz...I don't know too much about her history yet. Or daisy's, or Bree's or many of the other ladies. But Bree said she has a son so not sure what that means for relationships here.

And then there's my most likely candidate: Lexa. I know for a fact she was a leader to her people. And she's as sharp as a tack. And... you know if I think about it, you two would be a nice pair. Same kind of fire in your souls.

[He raises an eyebrow at her.]

Well? Am I off the mark?

[You ever see a turtle retract her head into her shell, Max? Because there's a fully grown Garou trying to replicate that look by retreating into the mess of blankets she has around her. She's just going to flump face forward while she tries not to be mortified.

Who knew Ren was capable of blushing?

Muffled;] It's Lexa.

Ah. I knew it.

[Oh no. He slaps a hand over his mouth to stifle a laugh as Ren retreats into the blankets like that. Poor thing. He shouldn't laugh, really. But it's just so cute. She's so young.]

Okay. So, Ren. Tell me exactly what happened with Lexa. You two got in a fight over this, I assume? Have you tried talking to her since it all blew up?

[Ren works he way back up again and nods.]

Yeah. I sent her a cake 'nd we wrote to each other 'cos sometimes I lose my temper. Thought that was smarter. But...it didn't go so good.

[She turns to where she discarded her tome and turns to the series of messages that she's had with Lexa a few weeks ago and offers it to Max.]

I apologised. I...freaked out a bit. She kissed us outside and...I kinda broke the pool.

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